Quick, describe your child in three words. Is she quiet, timid and slow? Or is she meticulous, patient and gentle? Is he noisy, clumsy and bad-tempered? Or is he friendly, energetic and passionate?
Words are the medium through which we convey our thoughts. The words we use have great impact on the listener. We should think carefully before we speak. Words can have a positive or a negative effect on those hearing them. Compare "You are always so clumsy" with "You are very energetic". Which sentence do you think will make you feel good?
As a parent, it is even more important to think before we speak to our children. When talking to your child, it is very important to choose words that uplift the spirit rather than dampen the spirit. The words we hear can influence the way we feel about ourselves. Uplifting words have the power to raise your child's self-esteem.
Imagine your daughter is learning fractions and she says to you, "I can't understand this, it's too hard. I always get it wrong." You reply, "You're always so impatient. It takes time to learn something new." Or maybe you say, "I know you have a quick mind. If you think about it a bit more, I'm sure you will soon understand it." Which statement do you think will encourage your daughter to try harder?
Or if your son helps you in the kitchen and he drops the carton of milk. What will you say to him: "You're so careless, why can't you do anything right?" or "Use the towel to mop up the milk. You are usually so careful, what happened today?" Which way will make your son feel good about himself? Which way will turn him off from helping ever again?
Now that you are aware of the power of words, think carefully before you speak. We all like to hear things that make us feel good about ourselves. For children, it is even more important because the words they hear daily are the words that shape their perception of who they are. If you were encouraged and made to feel capable while you were young, you would likely grow up to be an optimistic and happy person.
On the other hand if, as a child, you feel bad about yourself, it is very hard to change that feeling when you grow up. You might feel unworthy though you achieve great things. However, it is never too late to change the way you feel about yourself. Say something positive to yourself every day, and see how much better you feel. Say something positive every day to those you love and see how much better they feel.
Words have great impact on the listener; change your words, change how you feel. Don't you agree?
Raising kids is the most important job in the world. All caring adults, not just parents and teachers, should help raise the kids in our community. Children learn to be patient or impatient, caring or indifferent, helpful or heartless from the adults around them. Esther Chum shares her tips on how we can all help the children, in her blog Kids n School Study Guide.
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