School Places

Many families will be disappointed to be told that their child will be going to a school they do not want. As many as one in six children failed to secure a place in their first choice school. In London it rises to one in three. They have the right to appeal against this decision. This is where appeals come in. Each year about 60,000 school admission appeals are heard. Only one in three [34%] are won by parents.

HINT NUMBER ONE Make copies of every communication you receive and send. Log every phone call.

What was said?Who did you speak with?What date?What time?

So who decides which child gets a place and which doesn't? The admission authority has to draw up and publish a list of admission criteria; that is, a series of priority categories. These will vary in detail depending on local circumstances and in the case of faith schools, for example, will reflect the distinctive nature of the school. Typical admission criteria will favour:

children with a brother or sister at the school;children living closest to the school;children attending a named feeder school;children who are members of the faith the school serves.

Where there are more applications for a place in the school than the school has to offer, applications are put into rank order by being matched with the school's admission criteria. Places are then offered to the highest ranking applicants.

Fears are increasing that proposed changes to the laws controlling school admissions could make it all too easy for sought after schools to make sure that it is they who choose the pupils they want, not the other way round.

HINT NUMBER TWO Find out the details of numbers on roll at the school now. Check out the number in each year group. Do your research via: o school website o school prospectus o telephone the school or visit in person Write everything down and keep copies.

You are determined to get a good education for your child. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world; sometimes it is the loneliest. When the letter arrives telling you that your child is being offered a place at a school you do not want, you may experience a lot of negative feelings: perhaps, even, that you have let your child down. But remember that appeals are won, by being organised, focused and determined.

http://www.winschoolappeal.co.uk/ has a 29 page appeals information booklet will help you find your way through the appeals maze. Including step-by-step guide, letters templates, do's and don'ts.

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Empowering Youth: Are You Really Teaching Your Child To Be A Giver?

Teaching children to be givers and leading by example is an important component to their success.

There will be no lesson learned in teaching your child to be a giver IF they don't see YOU giving too.

What are you doing that leads the way for your child to follow?

And more importantly, what attitude do you have when you give?

So let's see:

1. When was the last time your child saw you give money? Caution. If you asked for a receipt, your child may not be learning the lesson you intend to teach.

2. When was the last time your child saw you volunteer your time for a worthy cause? Be careful here. If you gained anything from what you did, even recognition, your child will likely not count that as giving.

3. The last time you saw a homeless person on the street, what did your child hear you say?

4. When someone walks up to you and asks if you can spare some change, what does your child see and hear from you?

5. What happens to your old clothes, shoes, purses, neckties, wallets, hats, gloves, etc.?

6. How much food does your family throw in the trash? Danger Zone. Do NOT force your kids to eat what they put on their plates. Do NOT tell them about the starving kids in Ethiopia. Do NOT reward or praise them for finishing everything on their plates. Do NOT say "oh you can finish that last bit of food" or "it's a shame to waste that little bit of food"

ALL of those behaviors create overweight adults and now even worse, overweight kids. Instead, teach your children to take small portions of food and go back for seconds.

7. Are you still eating out and tipping 10%?

8. When you get a gift you don't like or get no gift at all, do your children hear you murmur and complain?

9. Is your house filled with stuff? I mean, do you buy every kitchen gadget that sounds good on TV and then never use them? Do you boast to your friends about having the biggest TV and say it's so everyone can see when they come over for Monday night football?

10. Are your children watching you struggle to pay for a car and house you can't afford? Pause: a lot of people are in that situation right now as a result of losing their job. You know if you are buying stuff to impress people and paying for it with your child's inheritance.

It is very important to teach children to be givers, otherwise you cannot be surprised when they always have their hand out begging to receive.

Think about it. Taking something that you have and likely have worked hard to get and handing it over to someone else, often someone you do not know, with nothing in return or even promised, makes no sense.

So if you don't raise children to be givers and not just takers, they will surely not come up with the idea all by themselves.

There are many ways to teach children to be givers:

1. tithes and offerings at church

2. putting money in the Salvation Army bucket during the holidays

3. visiting hospitals and nursing homes

4. doing helpful things for your neighbors

5. volunteering at a soup kitchen

6. taking the clothes and toys they have out grown to the thrift store

7. adopting a street and keeping it clean

8. helping to fold chairs or cleanup or plant flowers at their school

9. reading books to younger kids at the library or in the neighborhood

10. helping people to the car with their groceries

Teaching children to be givers is not all about dollar bills. Giving of time with nothing in return will instill the same lesson because what you are actually teaching them is to think about someone other than themselves.

So, what example are you setting that will teach your child to be a giver?

Remember, everything you do and say teaches. Be sure it's the lesson you want to pass the generations to come.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Infertility and Adoption Support Groups: The Top 5 Benefits

Research has documented a group's counseling power in helping people with many types of issues. The top 5 benefits of groups include helping you to:

Overcome isolation - Groups provide emotional connections when people feel isolated from friends and family in relation to their issues. Participants enjoy communicating with like-minded people.
Build resilience, which is defined as the capacity to adapt to difficulties; and to try new opportunities for personal growth and change. According to the American Psychological Association "Nothing helps more with adversity and stress than to feel the support and understanding of other people. Creating connections is the number one way to build resilience."
Learn something new, perhaps a new resource or a coping tip.
Feel validated which enhances self-esteem - Discussing issues and being understood and supported provides group members with a greater sense of perspective and control.
Feel better - These benefits usually result in mood improvement and the decrease of emotional distress.
The most important time to join a group is in the first few months of a new situation, when the reality begins to set in. This is a time when you may be keeping everything confidential and/or feeling more sensitive to other people's reactions or comments, or especially anxious about your situation. Find a group that is right for you, where you feel comfortable.

The basic types of counseling groups and their benefits are outlined below.

Benefits of Infertility Groups:

"For me, group is the only place I can share a laugh about our difficulties." K.A., infertility patient

While we find that many infertility patients are inconsistent group members or prefer the privacy of individual counseling, those that do attend groups enjoy the connections with others going through similar experiences.
Provides freedom to express negative emotions and prevents feelings of overburdening loved ones
Develop or regain effective coping skills
Couples having difficulty communicating about their infertility problems may benefit by talking to other couples
Enhanced self-esteem - discussing issues with others provides the members with a greater sense of perspective
One study suggested increased rates of conception for women who participated in support groups vs. those who did not (54% vs. 22%).

Benefits of Pre-Adoptive Parent Groups:

"We were stuck and unable to complete the paperwork for our adoption until one night at group when we realized it was our grief about our losses that was holding us back." J.S., adoptive parent and Former Pre-Adopt Group Member

"When I began to attend the pre-adopt group I was still feeling very alone and depressed. It was relieving immediately to be with like-minded people. Once we made the decision to adopt it made it real for me. The group made a difficult journey hopeful, healing. During the 9 months it took to complete the adoption, I was pregnant intellectually and emotionally. Now I wake up in the morning and look at my son. It feels like we were meant 3 for each other. I am elated by motherhood, closer to being whole." S.G., adoptive parent and Former Pre-Adopt Group Member

Many who are waiting to adopt come to the groups looking for education as a supplement to their home studies. In addition, they report feeling more open about their emotions and able to relax in the neutral setting of a Counseling Center.
Members can voice their experiences about the positives (excitement, family growth) and the negatives (frustrating delays, fears of a complicated transitions or relationships, concerns about their referrals or matches).
Groups give pre-adoptive parents a place to be expectant parents and to focus on preparation for parenting.
Learn skills to help in the transition to parenthood; to communicate effectively with birth parents; and/or to transition children home from orphanages or foster care.
Many of our pre-adopt group members form their own Parent/Baby groups after they have adopted.

Benefits of Groups for Adoptive Parents:

"I don't usually think a lot about adoption so I really appreciate that my adoptive parents group gives me a time and place to do that." K.M. adoptive parent

"Other parents think they understand but they have no idea of some of the issues my child has or how I feel." P.B. adoptive parent

Camaraderie is the most often-cited benefit of adoptive parent groups - parents can share their experiences of raising children whose ethnicities, special needs or personal histories are adoption related.
An opportunity to distinguish adoption-related behaviors from general developmental behaviors and personality factors in understanding and planning for their children's needs.
Education and support on adoption life cycle tasks and dealing with schools and social issues; and often on general parenting concerns as well.
A chance to learn parenting strategies uniquely designed for children who have had foster and/or orphanage care where applicable
A chance to discuss open adoption issues where applicable
Sharing of information and resources

Benefits of Groups for Adopted Kids:

Children's Groups are designed to encourage the exploration and sharing of the adoption experience within a fun and structured environment.
Adopted children find that peer groups provide a comfortable place to identify, and that increases self esteem.
They have a chance to articulate their own concerns and to get feedback from peers which they really appreciate.
They can explore adoption without the fear of hurting anyone's feelings, saying something inappropriate, being considered different, or feeling disloyal to their parents.
Children learn that it's ok to talk about adoption, that their feelings and thoughts are normal and that it's ok to bring up adoption issues with their parents.

Benefits of Groups for Adopted Teens:

"Sometimes we don't even talk about adoption but it makes me feel really good to know other kids who were adopted. I know I can talk to them about adoption if I want to." L.N., age 16

As teens face many big life changes in these years, the possibility of adoption related issues surfacing increases dramatically and group support is an effective way to deal with these issues.
Adopted teens find that peer groups provide a comfortable place to identify and that increases self esteem.
Teens appreciate the opportunity for validation, sharing and exploring their experiences and feelings with other like-minded teens.
Teens can also address other self-esteem, identity and social issues related to adolescence.

Frequently Asked Questions about Groups

What Is The Purpose of A Group? People within a group, discuss their issues with each other and provide supportive communication and resources for dealing with their infertility and/or adoption related concerns.

How would I Benefit From A Group? A group can lift your spirits if you are down, or feeling isolated; teach you something new about coping or strategizing to deal with an issue; or simply be a good source camaraderie and comfort.

What Occurs at A Group Meeting? Each group is different, but generally group members discuss their feelings, experiences and opinions; and give support, encouragement or advice to each other. The counselor offers insights and education about the topics at hand or presents topics requested by the group members, and monitors group interaction so that everyone is comfortable. Participants can benefit from both the members' and the counselor's input. Child groups are more likely to include an activity that brings the issues out in a fun and child-friendly way. Through crafts and group activities, youth are encouraged to normalize and celebrate their experience as an adoptee.

What if I am uncomfortable in groups, is there any reason to try one? Start by attending some group meetings and just listening in. At first, you may feel uncomfortable. Don't worry, many people feel uncomfortable at first. Give yourself a chance to settle in. Slowly, your comfort level will probably increase and you will begin connect with some of the people in the group. If not, it is absolutely fine to continue participating as a listener.

And if your spouse wants to join and you are uncomfortable in groups, it is perfectly fine to be there just to support him or her. Later, the two of you can discuss your reactions in private.

How do I handle it if my child or teen is anxious about joining a group, but I feel it would be helpful to them? If you think this would be a great idea but are worried you child or teen won't want to participate, please feel free to call for ideas on how to introduce this group to your child or teen.

Joni S. Mantell, LCSW, CSW, Director of IAC Center is a Psychotherapist and a recognized authority on the psychological and social aspects of infertility and adoption. She has a Masters in Social Work from The University of Pennsylvania and completed a 4-year Certification Program in Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy at the Post-Graduate Center for Mental Health in NYC. She is particularly known for her expertise in helping people to transition from infertility to adoption; and for her capacities to integrate and to differentiate adoption, child development and other psychological issues in her understanding of each individual and family situation.

She founded the IAC Center in 2002 because she felt that people needed a place to have a safe and professionally guided discussions about infertility and adoption at multiple points in the life cycle. The IAC Center offers counseling, support groups and psych-educational workshops for families and for professionals. The IAC Center has coordinated Support Groups for: Infertility, Pre-Adoptive Parents, Adoptive Parents, Adopted Children and Teens, and Professional Support. Please visit our website for more information and resources http://iaccenter.com/ or call 609-737-8750

Joni Mantell, LCSW is also a frequent writer, consultant, trainer and speaker; and enjoys doing original research on infertility and adoption topics. The unique combination of her psychological training, extensive clinical work with infertility patients and all members of the adoption triad; academic and research based experiences gives her particular insight into the mindset of people whose lives are touched by infertility and adoption.

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Keeping Kids Fit in Singapore

As Singapore appears to be following western countries with growing obesity rates more and more parents are asking how to get their kids fit. Although we have a long way to go to before we can match some western countries' obesity problems, as parents we need watch out for the early signs of our children putting on extra weight.

Our Education Department has the right idea when they put the weight-gainers on a special exercise program. But there is only so much that can be done at school. As parents and nannies, we have the major influence in our children's lifestyle. Here are some quick tips:

Exercise: How many adults get enough? I mean really? It always seems as if there is no time. And kids are great imitators, they will happily mimic their parents sedentary evenings in front of the television. So try to exercise for at least half an hour 3 times a week. It's still not really enough, but it is a start.

When exercising you will need to do it vigorously enough to perspire and increase your heart rate. You can start by throwing a Frisbee in the park, or just playing badminton downstairs. Any exercise is good, just keep reminding yourself to keep the pace up so that it really has some effect.

If you are able to set a routine and follow it strictly for at least a few weeks, you will find that your kids will eventually start to look forward to it (expect some resistance at first).

For many parents this will simply not be possible. There is just not enough time. This is where a good nanny can help. A young nanny can join in with the kids, an older nanny can organise games downstairs that get the children running about.

"What about study? There is so much pressure at school, they barely have time for their homework! " I hear you say.

The answer to that is "What about obesity, what about myopia, and what about seeing your kids happy and healthy?"

And the really good news is that study after study has found a correlation between vigorous physical activity and better academic results. A good place to start your own research into this intriguing fact is here http://www.sparkpe.org/ There is plenty of material on the Internet about the Spark program (not to be confused with the M.O.E.s Singapore Pre-school Accreditation Framework, also known as SPARK), much of which centres around the work of Harvard professor John Ratey. His website is here: http://www.johnratey.com/newsite/index.html

So if you see your kids watching TV, playing with the iPad, watching You Tube or updating their Facebook account, do your best to get them outside and whether you are a parent, grandparent or a nanny... play with them!

Yee Mei is the founder of the web portal http://findananny.sg/ which, matches nannies with families in Singapore. Yee Mei's Blog is about parenting, educating and the role of nannies in Singapore.

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How Can I Acquire Wholesale Baby Fashion Clothing for My Business?

Have you ever wanted to start your own business? During these tough economic times, one must think very carefully before embarking on a new business venture. One must find a product that is always in demand and will continue to have a market. Additionally, it would help if there were a way to acquire that product for a cost that is much lower than what one plans to charge for it - the difference between wholesale and retail. A baby is born roughly every 8 seconds in the United States. Each newborn represents a new customer, who will need thousands of dollars worth of goods like diapers, food and regular and fashion clothing in the first year of his or her life.

Therefore it makes sense for a budding entrepreneur to consider opening a store that caters to the needs of newborns. There will always be children born each year so there is no chance of running out of potential customers. Also, because of how quickly an infant grows in the first year of its life, he or she will need to acquire all new wardrobes several times in that first year.

One other thing to know about this market is that these days, women are waiting longer before having their first child. In the 70s, the average age of a first time mother was 21 while today it is 25. One reason for this shift is the economy, as parents are taking the time to ensure that they are in a stable financial situation before they have kids. What this means is that parents have more disposable income to spend on their newborns. Because of this, a shop that sells designer clothes for newborns will have a very large number of potential customers.

When selling designer clothing items for infants, it is a good idea to find stylish, unique designs that the major chains will not have, at an affordable price. The best way to find these items will be to buy wholesale baby clothes. Be warned however that many online merchants use that distinction to lure in unsuspecting parents who believe that they are getting a good deal. So then how can one spot a legitimate distributor?

Legitimate businesses will only want to work with actual business people, so they will ask to see several forms of documentation to ensure that they are working with shop owners that will be placing frequent orders. Interested buyers may be asked to show a copy of their business license and/or their tax ID. They may also need to provide an Employee Identification Number (EIN). It is also preferred that buyers use a business checking account or credit card to pay for their order.

Summary

There will always be a market for clothing items for newborns, and the increase in the age of first time mothers means that parents have the financial means to seek out high-end chic outfits. Resellers of these items should consider acquiring wholesale baby fashion, while making sure that the seller requests proper documentation so that one knows that they are legit.

In my research on wholesale baby fashion, I learned why wholesale baby clothes purchased from a reputable reseller are a great solution for business owners.

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