Child Development: Self-Liberating Preschooler

Child development is a process of a child liberating from dependencies and fears toward freedom. On her way to independence a child goes through the infant, toddler, preschooler, school-age, and teenage stages. A preschooler continues to be introduced and learns to communicate with the world. The new ability to talk expands her freedom to explore the world and acquire knowledge about her brand new identity. At this important stage a child forms her image of herself, her I-concept, which will lead her to happiness or, if her parents are careless, to misery for the rest of her life.

Most experts of modern psychology, mental health therapy, or healing practices say that the heaviest of the emotional problems are rooted in a person's childhood. Most people remember themselves being 4-5 year old when they first realized their identity. With new freedoms a child has new choices and new fears. At this important stage a child learns to navigate herself through the choices and avoid dangerous consequences. If in this process of exploring the world the child discovers more joys than fears, she will grow up into a happy person, friendly to the world. If there will be more fears in her young life she might grow up into a person preoccupied with her insecurity.

A lot is going on in a preschooler's mind. Who am I? Am I good or bad? Am I pretty? Am I wanted? A child is forming her image of herself, her I-concept. Simon Soloveychik emphasizes that at this age a child forms something that she will call later - her soul. Even 70 years later an old lady will still have a little girl inside her. The belief of her value that formed at age 5 will attract her life circumstances to match this belief. This perception does not change through life, unless the person decides to change it in the process of internal growth.

To understand what a child feels at this stage imagine a tourist in a foreign country who just learned to speak the language. She is still confusing lots of words and often feels helpless. Fortunately she has a guide who is leading her through the new country. Sometimes the guide is preoccupied with her duty and righteousness to lead the tourist to safe and proper places. When she gets in tourist's way the tourist goes around by herself toward unknown places and new adventures. She speaks to strangers and learns about the country she is going to live in. Thus she liberates herself toward the new level of freedom, identifying herself in this new environment.

Like tourist in the foreign country a child strives to navigate through the new world. However, overprotecting parent may get in her way. Driven by fear for a child, a mother may take a free will of a child as a threat to her authority. As a result, a power struggle begins. Sometimes it turns into a war between a child and a parent, which may continue through both their lives. Unfortunately many parents don't know other ways to communicate with the child because they grew up constantly battling with their own parents. Now, when they obviously have power, they exercise it as their right to punish or have mercy. But what they don't realize is that a child may accept this punishment as something which belongs to her identity. When grown up she will continue punish herself, in her mind, because of guilt, self-hatred and a habit to be insecure.

To break the evil circle of insecurity is the only one thing a parent can do: heal herself by letting fears go! This is an internal work of soul. However, nothing else works. A child at a preschooler stage is a very sensitive and spiritual being. She will immediately sense the parent's transformation, even the slightest shift of it. She would be grateful and learn to grow too.

Parenting For Everyone - raising children with love and conscience http://www.parentingforeveryone.com/

View the original article here

Signs Your Child May Have ADHD

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is believed to affect about 4 million kids in the U.S. and millions more throughout the world. Over the last several years, ADHD has often been seen a trendy diagnosis, with many people dismissing it as a mere personality trait rather than a problem that warrants treatment. But while there are actually some benefits to mild ADHD, any parent of a severely ADHD child knows that this condition can be quite detrimental, especially when it comes to school. Kids with ADHD often have trouble focusing in class, and they tend to act up in ways that may earn them reputations as problem students.

Diagnosing ADHD can be challenging because every child with this condition is different. However, the one thing that all parents of kids with this condition have in common is that they sense their children aren't normal. Children with ADHD often have trouble fitting in, and they may even have negative emotional responses to their conditions from very early on. Parents tend to notice these things, yet they may not realize it is ADHD until years into a child's life.

ADHD in early childhood

The first symptoms of ADHD tend to arrive during early childhood. In fact, many mothers of hyperactive children say they remember their unborn babies kicking unusually vigorously in the womb, and there is also plenty of anecdotal evidence saying that colicky babies tend to develop ADHD later in life. Neither of these claims have been scientifically proven.

By preschool age, the symptoms should become much more apparent. If you hear form your child's preschool teacher that he has trouble following directions, sitting still, or controlling his emotions, this is a good sign that ADHD may be a factor. Even at this age, children with attention-deficit and hyperactivity tend to have a high level of energy, and this is shown in practically everything they do. In some cases, it may even lead to fights with other children or behaviors that may be perceived as aggressive.

ADHD in older kids

During elementary school, the signs of ADHD become particularly apparent. You can tell certain things about a child by how she acts at home, but these behaviors become most troublesome at school, which is why the condition is rarely diagnosed until children are in the 7-12 age range. At this age, some of the most common symptoms of ADHD include:

difficulty paying attention or staying seated during long hours of school;trouble listening and following directions;aversion to homework (rooted in difficulty with such tasks);absent-mindedness, often leading to forgetfulness and frequently losing items;excessive talking, even when the child is supposed to be quiet;frequent fidgeting;constant feelings of restlessness;difficulty waiting in lines or taking turns with other children.

During adolescence, untreated ADHD can lead to additional problems, which may include depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders. Meanwhile, consistent poor performance in school may create conditions where the child is more likely to act out and join the rebellious crowd at school. In most cases, taking care of ADHD early on can get a child on track.

Dealing with ADHD

Every child is hyper or inattentive from time to time. In general, even a moderately above-average amount of hyperactivity is nothing to be worried about and probably does not require treatment. However, when a child's attention-deficit or hyperactivity leads to poor school performance, self-destructive behavior, or frequent fighting with other children, intervention becomes necessary.

If you suspect that your child's hyperactive behaviors may be signs of ADHD, then you might want to consider consulting with your family doctor about whether a medical evaluation is necessary. If it proves that your child does have ADHD, talk to your doctor about potential treatment options.

By Jamell Andrews

Jamell Andrews, a graduate from CSU Fullerton, majored in Language Arts and authors numerous articles on parenting for the popular journal site http://www.parenting-journals.com/. She also believes in the many uses of infant gripe water for fussy babies.

View the original article here