Child Care Providers: How to Pick the Right One

Entrusting your child to a sitter or day care center can be a difficult decision. Here are some guidelines for ensuring the best care for your child and peace of mind for you.

1. Hiring a sitter

a. Check the applicant's personal references. Ask the former employer if the sitter was reliable? Whether the children liked her? If she ever faced and emergency and if so, how she handled it.

b. Ask the job-seeker what she likes most and least about babysitting. What activities she enjoys doing with children and how she would handle such problems as an infant who wakes up with a fever.

c. If the sitter is fairly young, try to gauge whether she is mature enough to handle problems. If the sitter is elderly, make sure that she is energetic enough to keep up with your baby or toddler.

d. Spell out clearly your views on discipline. No one should be allowed to strike a child. Make sure that you tell the sitter that physical punishment is ground for dismissal.

e. Discus whether you allow smoking as health experts advise against smoking in the presence of infants and children. Discuss your policy on alcoholic beverages and whether the sitter is allowed to have visitors to the house.

f. Invite her to spend an hour or so with you and the child and watch how they interact. Does she seem comfortable with the child? Does she appear to like him or her?

g. Trust your instincts. If the sitter has all the right answers, but something about her bothers you, do not hire her.

h. Arrange for your sitter to get a complete physical examination. This should include a TB test, especially if she has recently lived or traveled abroad.

2. Training your sitter: Once you have chosen a sitter, schedule a get-acquainted session in which you give her a tour of the house and detail your child's habits and needs. Of course, the sitter should be paid for the time she spends in this meeting.

a. Emphasize the location of exits to be used in the event of a fire. Review family's evacuation plans.

b. Show her where you keep your flashlight and fist-aid kit. She should also know where to find the fuse box and other essential items

c. Outline rules on use of the phone, TV, stereo and VCR.

d. Specify what snacks you will provide. Note that you will expect the sitter to clean up after snack time.

e. Show her where you keep diapers, extra clothing, bottles, formula food and other baby supplies.

f. Review the proper way to pick up, hold, feed and diaper the baby as well as instructions on sterilizing bottles and serving baby food.

g. Describe your child's special pre-sleep habits such as crying, rocking, sucking on a finer, thumb or pacifier.

h. Trust your sitter as a professional. If you anticipate a long-term relationship, write up a job description and an agreement detailing working hours, salary overtime pay and benefits.

i. Explain the sleeping positions you want for your infant.

j. Every now and then, make an unannounced stop at your or home. It is an effective way to learn what is happening in your absence, especially if your child is too young to talk.

3. Coping with emergencies

a. Post important phone numbers: home, office, pediatrician, police, fire, ambulance, nearest hospital, poison control center, a neighbor or relative to call in a pinch.

b. Leave an abbreviated medical history-your child's allergies, medications, immunizations and illnesses.

c. Review first-aid procedures. Better yet, have the sitter take a course at a hospital or Red Cross chapter.

d. Supply a signed release form authorizing emergency medical services in your absence. You can obtain the form from a doctor or an attorney. Without it, doctors can treat a child only if withholding care would be life-threatening.

e. Leave enough money in an envelope to pay for cab fare to the nearest emergency room. Write on the envelope the phone number of a taxi service, the address and phone number of the hospital, both parent's offices during the day and where they may be reached at other times.

4. Judging day care

a. Inquire whether the center is state-licensed which means it must meet minimum standards of safety, hygiene, and staffing. Although not all states require it, ask if the center conducts a criminal history background check on its employees.

b. Ask about employee turnover. A fairly stable staff often indicates a well-run center with experienced dedicated caregivers.

c. Check social service agencies to find out if any reports have been filed on the center.

d. Whether home or center-based, day care facilities should be warm and inviting places. First, look at the physical facility. Is it neat and free of safety hazards? Do you see toys, books, and play equipment appropriate to young children? Is the kitchen clean and large enough for adequate meal preparation?

e. Is the bathroom clean? Is there a place for changing diapers safely? How are solid diapers disposed off? Antiseptic procedures for handling soiled diapers are crucial to keeping young children healthy.

f. Ask to observe a provider changing a diaper. Ideally, she should wear thin plastic gloves, wash her own and the baby's hands afterward, turn the water off with a paper towel and sanitize the changing area.

g. Inquire about how the staff handles diaper rash.

h. Ask about immunization requirements for the child and other health polices.

i. Observe interactions between the provider and the children and among the children themselves. Do the kids look happy? Does the staff seem to know how to handle conflicts among children?

j. Arrange to meet every one who will have contact with your child including bus driver and janitors.

5. More pointers

a. Check out the activity schedule. See if snack time, lunch and naps are always at the same hours, so the day has pleasant predictable rhythm to it. Young children need a regular routine.

b. Ask if you can visit during the day unannounced.

c. Try to avoid overcrowded facilities.

6. Playing outdoors

a. If the day care center offers a playground with swigs, seesaws and other equipment, look at their condition.

b. Swings should be lightweight but sturdy.

c. On a slide, there should be guardrails or barriers on the elevated platform.

d. If you expect your child to play outdoors for any length of time, be sure to put sunscreen on him or her before the child leaves home. Apply sunscreen to the child's face year round, winter or summer. Cover any other exposed skin as well.

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Helping The Anxious Child

Anxiety in Children

All children experience anxiety; it's normal and expected - particularly at specific developmental times. From the age of 8-9 months of age for example, a baby may begin to show worry and distress at being separated from a parent or known carer and this may continue through the pre-school years. Worries about particular events or objects may also become prominent for some children as they grow older - a fear of spiders, the dark, animals, strangers or thunder and lightening - and this may continue into the primary school years.

As with any behaviour however, it is the:

· frequency
· intensity
· level of distress
· duration
· disruption that it causes to the child's (and family's) life

that determines whether a parent should seek help.

Many children will develop ways of coping with situations that previously caused them fear - even in the absence of the parent coaching or reassuring them; they literally seem to 'grow out of it'. Others, however - who may be genetically and temperamentally 'hot wired' for greater reactivity and anxiety - continue to show high levels of fear with few coping strategies, despite maturing.

Some symptoms of anxiety include:

Refusing to go to schoolFrequently 'fussing' about going to school; delaying, complainingComplaints of pain - frequently stomach aches or 'feeling sick'Constant thoughts about parents or carers being injured or becoming illTantrums or panic when parents leave the childAvoidance of social situations - visiting other children's homes without a parent; answering the telephoneFretting about events before they happenConcern about or refusal to participate in any new activitiesExtreme fear about a specific thing or situation - needles, insectsRefusing to talk to those outside the familyTrouble sleeping or nightmares

It is important not to assume that a child will 'grow out of' their anxieties - particularly if they are showing signs of those behaviours listed above. Anxiety behaviours can become habitual and entrenched responses, and a plan is required to interrupt the avoidance pattern that is so often a feature, together with coaching the child in coping strategies.

Something that parents often find confusing in dealing with their anxious child is the contrast between the child's general reserve and timidity, but when faced with dealing with their fear - usually at home - the child displays a tenacity and ability to be a 'refusing tyrant' - that leads parents to believe that the child is in some way faking their initial distress. However, this is very common, particularly when the fear responses have become habitual - for example in refusing to attend school - and it is why seeking professional help through a mental health clinician is recommended.

Children can be taught to recognize, monitor and manage anxiety, but it is best done in partnership between the parent, family and a mental health professional. If your child is showing behaviours that appear anxiety driven and if they are causing disruption to the family or interfering with normal, everyday activities, talk to your family doctor and ask for a referral to a mental health practitioner experienced in dealing with children. Medication is rarely indicated for children - rather the challenging of responses in a gentle and graduated way, together with helping parents to also adjust their own responses to the child's distress - an important part of breaking the 'anxiety cycle'.

Anxiety disorders - left untreated - do cause limitation of a child's life and suffering. But they are treatable, so don't delay in seeking further assessment if you have concerns.

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Empowering Youth: Teaching College Kids About Money

College can be a financially dangerous phase for your child because they are out of your house and totally on their own. Here's how you can prepare your young adult for the endless financial temptations they will face.

Money problems

Money dominates many adult conversations yet we hardly talk about finances with our kids. So if money talk is taboo in your family, now is the time to break the silence and make a conscious decision to be open. Talk to your young adult about financial challenges you may be facing. Let them know that money problems may come and you are there to help when they do. Note: Help does not mean "fix the problem by paying the bill or wiring money". Help means talking them through the problem-solving process.

Delay impulse

Teach your young adult to delay impulse - especially if it is the impulse to buy. Train them to stop and think before any purchase that costs more than $25. A college student may be an adult by number but they don't have enough life experience to manage self-control without your gentle guidance. Remember, they are battling all kinds of whims on a daily basis and frivolous spending is the least of the challenges on your child's mind.

Contract conscious

Since your young adult is away from home, it is important for him/her to become familiar with contracts. Don't wait until they have signed their life away and it's too late. Make sure they understand what a contract is and is not, the types of contracts they will likely encounter, and how to evaluate a contract's character. Teach them to never sign anything without first considering other options for the purchase, researching the contractor, carefully reading the terms and fine print of the agreement, and consulting a wise third party.

Financial history

Teach your young adult how to set and stick to a budget so their expenses don't outpace their income. Let's face it; in this day and time their financial history may be more important than their actual finances. Make sure to stress the value of financial integrity. Be certain he or she understands how credit reports work and specifically why having too many credit cards, late bill payments, over the limit fees, a lot of account inquiries, and charge-offs will affect more than future purchases. It will also impact their ability to get a J-O-B.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Should You Beat Your Child?

A glaring portion of the Bible boldly states, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." That's the Bible; but what does modern man say?

The issue of whether or not to beat a child has drawn a lot of furor from people the world over. The Bible says you should beat, almost all Africans believe you should beat and actually do so, and many Europeans and Americans say you shouldn't. Having varying views on a particular subject makes it very difficult to make your own decision, more so when it has to do with child training. But if you must raise your child the right way, you must make the right decision on this matter.

The modern child gets exposed at an earlier age than children of older generations, and he learns faster, too. With the TV placed in a central place in the home and plenty of channels to choose from - good and bad - your child is open to all sorts of ideas, behaviors, mannerisms, and lifestyles. If you parents think that you can monitor what your child sees on TV or video at home, you may not be able to control what he gets to learn from his mates at school. In fact, children at six years of age can now download all sorts of videos from the internet, and into mobile phones.

The world now is much more dangerous and wanton, and children these days tend to form habits faster. Few blocks away from your home; at school, in your neighbor's house, at the playground, and even in church, your child is constantly exposed to other children and adults who have one questionable behavior or the other. And your child is always watching and learning.

Every child has an innate tendency to be disobedient and dissident. As young as they are they want to do things on their own, hiss at you when you correct them, and hit you back when you hit them.

There is no such thing as letting your child grow the way he is. If you follow such advice you'll lose him. It is not easy to raise your kid from childhood to youth without discipline. And this discipline involves using the rod. You have to beat your child in order to get the best out of him. When a child displays his natural tendency to disobey, the rod, not spoken words, can teach him to do the right thing.

When should you beat your child?

There are many ways to punish your child: you can ground him, increase his household chores for a period, or deny him some pleasures such as watching the TV, or using the rod. The type of punishment should depend on the severity of the offence. So, when should you use the rod?

You should beat your child when he disobeys your direct order over and over. Since he's just a child, it may not be fair to use the rod on him every time he disobeys your order. Remember that children have these moments when they are just nuts. They may remember instructions, but may be enjoying whatever it is they are doing so that they just ignore parental instructions. You should let them off in such situations. However, when your child disobeys a straight-forward instruction from you repeatedly, then, the rod should definitely play its role. The truth is that sometimes children take their parents for a ride unless they are caned.

If you have to flog your child, it should not be done with bitterness or anger. It should be done in love with the sole intent being to correct, not to injure. It's of no use beating your child without telling him what he's done wrong. You must let tell him the reason why you are beating him.

It's very important that you let your child know and truly feel that you are beating him because you love him and want to bring out the best in him, and not because you want him to feel pain. Many parents make the mistake of wanting to make their child feel pain, making him become ever more stubborn.

The injunction to "spare the rod or spoil the child" can't come at a better time than this. Your child needs both discipline and love. Beat with one hand and cuddle with the other.

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Children Being Effected by Cyber Bullying

Most of us know what it feels like to be the outcast; the disappointment of feeling left out or excluded. Being the last one picked for the team, or teased for being different. Well in today's young society, cyberbullying is becoming a problem for young people and making them feel even more ostracised and excluded. This negative trend affects nearly half of young people ages 10-24. Girls are the victims of this disgraceful behaviour nearly twice as often as boys are with sometimes tragic effects. The rise in teen suicide has been linked to cyberbullying now more than ever before.

Bullying on the Internet is the next step in the evolution of the schoolyard bully. He/she still strives to intimidate, threaten and demean his/her victims, only using the technology of the present to achieve his/her goals. Tools that are used are: text messaging, email and other social networks to promote smear campaigns against his/her intended victim, and will enlist the help of other mean girls and boys to join forces again the object of the smear. This could stem from an imagined slight, being excluded from a team sport; jealousy or animosity against a classmate or teammate. Whatever the basis for it is, these smear campaigns can be hurtful and even harmful to the victim.

The culprit is often difficult to identify, and as with other forms of bullying, there is a shame and embarrassment factor that keeps victims from informing authorities about the situation. Parents and school officials are often unaware that one of their young people are the victims of such behaviour; only that there are negative changes happening. They may observe failing grades, inattentiveness, mood changes, or a gradual isolation of the victim.

Once the parent or teacher is made aware of the situation, they should take immediate steps to put a stop to the situation. It is possible to block the offender from access to his/her victims in a methodical and effective manner. Report abuse to social networks and email carriers as any form of child harassment violates all user agreements. Steps can be taken to ban these aggressors from social networks, block access to the child's phone, text messaging and email. Cyberbullies are usually clever enough to have multiple accounts, so care must be taken to identify and block all user names and screen personas belonging to this form of behavior. It may be necessary to notify law enforcement should the cyberbullying become a physical threat to your young person. Do not risk your child's safety by taking this problem too lightly. This is a serious matter that must be dealt with sternly and with zero tolerance.

Checkout chatsec's child protection Facebook app http://www.chatsec.com/ that protects your child from getting harassed and feeling like they are in the pout crowd.

Chatsec's child protection Facebook app uses a complex algorithm that monitors your child's account so no one except you, the parent, can see what is going on. No more sorting through your child's Facebook content and wondering who they are talking to online. Chatsec's child protection Facebook app displays all concerning content on an easy to read platform for your convenience. Chatsec puts parental control back in your busy life at the click of a button.

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Empowering Youth: Is Social Media Your Child's Friend or Foe?

Do You Monitor Your Child's Wall or Page or Site?

Do You Know Your Child's Login & Password?

Do You Look To See Who They Are Making Friends With?

Do You Have ANY Rules About Their Social Media Activity?

Forget them whining about privacy. It's a dangerous world out there in cyberspace and until they move out of your house and pay ALL of their own bills... there is no such thing as privacy!

At the very least you must make sure they are using Social Media responsibly and not just assume they are. And even if you don't use or like Social Media yourself, you need to get an account before you find out the hard way what your child is saying, doing and where he or she is really going.

The funny thing about kids. They put all of their business on their wall, like adults can't read it.

Even if your child is not doing something wrong, per se, they are still probably posting things that a current or future employer would not like.

Did you know that employers read applicants Social Media sites before making a hiring decision?

Did you know that YOUR employer reads your Social Media page too?

Did you know that future clients, JV partners and existing customers read YOUR rantings too?

Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate with your child. Setting clear expectations about what is and what is not acceptable online behavior is imperative to successfully teaching your child right from wrong. If the parameters are muddled or your child learns that in one situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule does not, it causes confusion and frustration on both sides.

Sit down with your child well in advance and lay out your social media expectations and consequences of breaking the rules. Make it clear that there will be no room for negotiation at the time of the infraction, and that you will be firm in your discipline. Rules regarding your child's safety, health or well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or enforced. Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and child can agree upon.

If necessary, make a written social media contract between parent and child, in language your child can clearly understand. For younger children, you might want to develop a social media schedule within the contract. Make sure your child understands that monitoring their online activity is your way of teaching them. It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that rules are meant for their well-being.

Spot checking your kid's online activity can prevent them from making cyberspace mistakes that will live forever!

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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