Empowering Youth: Effective Strategies For Guiding Your Child's Behavior

How will your child acquire self-control, self-help, and strategies for getting along with other people? This kind of learning takes place when parents are regularly involved in setting limits, encouraging sought after behaviors, and making consistent decisions about consequences.

As a mother or father, you need to ask yourself:

Am I disciplining in a way that hurts or helps my child's self esteem?Will my discipline help my child develop self-control?

Discipline is preventive. It is teaching and mastery performed with the child. The objective of discipline is self-control. It teaches, leads and guides the child to produce well thought out, good choices; act in agreement with their choices; and acknowledge and accept the effects of their decisions and actions. While punishment is reactive. It is threatening and penalty carried out towards a child. The goal of punishment is to maximize adult control. Punishment is not going to produce self-reliance and independence, cultivate problem solving abilities nor build self-esteem. A parent who understands children will devise situations and promote attitudes that empower development. Self-discipline is best learned by way of information than by using punishment.

Take a second to assess your managing behavior methods. Decide to use positive discipline and start today.

There are four questions to ask whenever you contemplate your disciplinarian skills:

Do you allow your child to make some decisions and choices?Do you make rules and explanations clear and understandable?Do you show acceptable behavior through words and conduct?Do you give your child freedom to progress, yet understand his or her need for limits and guidance?

Being an effective disciplinarian calls for ability, persistence and love. But an ounce of prevention, undoubtedly goes a long way.

Here are some strategies that will assist you:

Accept your child as a valuable and important person and realize that your child's actions are a result of his or her life experiences to dateAnticipate and intervene prior to inappropriate behavior occurringOffer supplies and activity spaces that reflect an assortment of skills and abilitiesAlternate livelier and quieter activities throughout the dayMaintain an orderly flow through routines, to ensure that your child is neither hurried nor required to spend too much time waitingDivide large tasks into smaller portions, especially those requiring close supervisionPlan for the personal and developmental differences in each of your children. Children need challenges, but not serious frustrations

There is no one way and definitely no perfect way to discipline children. Actually, you will find as many different methods as you will find households; even so, a number of standard behavior management techniques have been beneficial over the years.

Your child needs to know what to expectReward your child's good behaviorMake the "consequence" match the offenseLead by exampleRemember that kids are people tooUse your power as a expression of loveSeparate your child from his or her inappropriate actionsBe more adaptable as your child matures

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Teach Your Child To Manage Money

Set a regular schedule for family discussions about finance

It can be used as a special time when children add up their savings and receive interest.Other discussion topics can include the difference between cash, checks, and credit cards; wise spending habits; how to avoid the use of credit; and the advantages of saving and investment growth.

With teenagers, it can also lead to discussions about what's happening with the national and local economies, how to economize at home, and alternatives to spending money. All of this practice will become useful as they get older and take on more responsibility for their own finances.

Use media products as examples

Commercials on TV can lead to productive discussions about how a product works and will it really do what is claimed. Is a price offered truly a sale price? Are alternative products available that will do a better job, perhaps for less cost, or offer better value? Remind them that if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Proper management of their money means making wise decisions as to what they buy or do not buy. Do they really need that product? Can they get it cheaper somewhere else?

Discuss the reality of borrowing and paying interest.

If you charge interest on small loans you make to them, they will learn quickly how expensive it is to rent someone else's money for a specified period of time. For instance, paying for a $499 TV over 18 months at $31.85 a month at 18.8 percent interest means the buyer really pays about $575.

Teach your child how credit cards work

Use every opportunity to explain to children how to verify the charges on a bill or receipt and how to guard against credit card fraud. Help them to understand that the credit card is not free money. It eventually has to be repaid. Make it clear to them that you monitor your statement for unjustified charges and question each entry. Describe to them how dishonest people sometimes can get the card number and make charges without your permission.

Discuss credit card dangers when going off to college

The credit card message to holders is to spend money. Some college students report using the cards for cash advances and also to meet everyday needs, instead of for emergencies. Before allowing your child to have a credit card, discuss with them exactly what it is to be used for and the consequences if not used wisely. Many students find themselves having to cut back on classes to fit in part-time jobs just to pay for their credit card purchases.

Kay Hedges is the author of tips and advice to parents who would like to teach their child to save money. Saving money is a habit that can be instilled in a child at an early age and forms the basis for other positive attributes as the child grows.

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Empowering Youth: Teaching Elementary Age Children About Money

If preschoolers learn most by playing, your elementary age child will learn more by doing. At this age your child will have a lot of "firsts" in life and hands-on practice with money is one they definitely need. And although much of what your child will learn about money, personal finance, allowances, money skills and money management can come from natural experiences, sometimes you will need to stage lessons for them.

Start with the basics

Early learning economics include what is money, where does money come from and what do we do with money. This is a good age to introduce your child to the concepts of earning money, spending money and saving money, as well as understanding goods and services, needs and wants, and producers and consumers. Remember to start simple and build from there.

Involve them

When you go shopping or to the bank or to pay bills, take your child with you. They will see how money is used and you can teach them good money practices. Also include your child when your family talks about the household budget. Not only will it be a very educational time but your child may have useful idea that you had not considered.

Family project

Since your goal is to teach your child about money and you have already embraced the practice of involving them in some of your financial affairs, why not come up with a family wish gift. You can teach your child about saving by setting up a family piggy bank where everyone contributes until there is enough money to complete the purchase.

Teach by example

Along with doing, your elementary age child will learn a lot by example. We are surrounded by information tempting us to buy- advertisements, the malls, friends and even relatives can be a source of purchasing pressure. At this age your child is completely dependent upon you to make good buying decisions and you can strengthen their purchasing skills by modeling responsible consumer behavior.

Let them make mistakes

You remember the mistakes you made and really want to shield your child from bad financial decisions but some things are best learned by trial and error. You can help by being supportive and allowing him or her to work through the consequences of their poor decisions. Resist the urge to rescue him or her. If your child spends all of their money on a video game and later discovers they want to go to the movies with a friend, let them wait until they have more money. If your child wants a toy that you know can break easily, caution him or her but then let them decide and learn from the outcome.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/.

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

View the original article here

Coming Of Age - How Does One Become An Adult?

Well, mostly by imitation...

I grew up in a household of two (heavy) cigarette-smoking, coffee-drinking parents. For me, this was the epitome of adulthood... And when I started smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee, at the age of seventeen, I felt that I have arrived!

The "arrival" was not celebrated in any way. However my Dad, who used to buy cigarettes in cartons (for him and my Mom) added a few packs to the family monthly cigarette shopping, on my behalf. I was given the stamp of approval: I belonged.

And isn't this what Rites of Passage are all about?

Arriving, belonging, getting in par with the adult world around us, which was mostly beyond our reach as children, and is now accepting us as rightful members.

Indigenous cultures similarly rewarded their youth with belonging and acceptance, only that their requirements were far more meaningful. Youth were given a multitude of things that our young lack today:

- Spiritual guidance from an early age, toward discovering the gift one was born to bring to their community

- Active mentors who fostered different skills in a youth, each bestowing their own gifts on their young protegee

- A prescribed set of challenges that will stretch a youth beyond their comfort zone, and will call them to find within them the ability to endure, overcome, and emerge triumphantly

- A tradition of Spiritual Eldering designed to pass on wisdom and knowledge from one generation to the next

- A tight knit community that is eager to collectively honor and celebrate all milestones in an individual's life

In contrast, the guidance I received, growing up, consisted of explicit messages, overt assistance, and covert expectations, all directed toward achieving high grades at school, an academic degree, and a career that will guarantee enough money to ensure a secure retirement.

There was no conscious guidance toward grounded, balanced, intentional adulthood, and in its absence I could only imitate what I saw around me. It took many years of unlearning (including quitting cigarette-smoking and coffee-drinking) to develop a sense of deeper meaning in my life.

Deeper meaning is what the youth search for. The need we have as young human beings, while transforming from childhood to adulthood, is for meaningful challenges that will help us prove to ourselves that we are courageous and worthy; role models that will inspire us to strive, and communities that will accept us as equals.

In the absence of such cultural offerings, the youth of each generation will devise their own tests that would lead them to become accepted by their tribe. For me, it was cigarettes and coffee that made me feel grown up and ultimately belong. For many today it is gang activity or teen pregnancy. These are the shadow manifestations of an authentic need. They seemingly include every element of traditional rites of passage:

- Going beyond one's comfort zone to prove worthiness (gang activity and teen sex)

- Performing daring acts that lead to approval (in the eyes of gang members, or boyfriend/girlfriend)

- Ultimate acceptance or belonging (this last one applies to gang members but hardly ever to girls who get pregnant. They often end up shunned by both their boyfriend and their family)

This grim picture only exists because we, as a society, abdicated our responsibility to our young!

It is in our hands to restore the picture to its natural balance. It is our (exciting!) task to rally around our young in meaningful ways, to provide them with meaningful challenges that will stretch them positively, and to receive them as equals when they triumphantly emerge from their trials.

Would you like to learn more about Rites of Passage, and how to apply them today?

Join a cutting edge Tele-Summit: RITES OF PASSAGE: Skillfully Guiding Girls to Womanhood & Boys to Manhood, with internationally acclaimed author Marianne Williamson, New York Best Seller author Michael Gurian, Internationally renowned Herbalist Susun Weed, and an array of wise guides, each an expert in their field, who will share with you insights, practical tools, and inspiration for your journey with Tweens & Teens! Find out more here: http://www.ritesofpassageevent.com/

DeAnna L'am (B.A.), is author of 'Becoming Peers - Mentoring Girls Into Womanhood', and 'A Diva's Guide to Getting Your Period'. She is founder of Red Moon School of Empowerment for Women & Girls™. Visit her at: http://www.deannalam.com/

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