Failing Idaho Public Schools

I can't believe these grades, Idaho!

In a 2007 study done by the National Center for Higher Education Management Systems (NCHEMS) Idaho schools were rated number 41 out of 50 states to prepare students to go on to college. It was determined that less than 30% of high school graduates between ages 18 and 24 pursue higher education.(1) According to the same study done in 2009, Idaho schools dropped to number 48 out of 50 states.(2) Yet at the same time Idaho schools graduate 90% percent or more of the students.

Help! We are drowning in high school diplomas.

I read that and I think, 'Great. Now our graduates can fill out welfare applications with the rest of us.' Our school system is pumping thousands of students into an already saturated working environment. Post Falls shot up to 13.4 percent unemployment in the last couple of years.(4) This is great for employers but tough on us older workers. Now we have to compete with thousands of young, strong, attractive, computer savvy kids. Kids who should be going to college but will gladly accept fifty cents over minimum wage instead. Thanks a lot Idaho for pushing us old folk out of the work force.

Welcome grads to Real Life 101

"Well, what are you going to do with your life now Johnny or Susie?" Most of these kids are smart enough to say, "I'm going to college." That always works to get aunt Ellen off their back. Yet, they have not completed a FAFSA, enrolled, or taken ACT tests to go to college. Is this stuff supposed to magically happen? But who really cares? The school system seems to be fine with 30% going to college. It doesn't really matter what happens after high school as long as those kids have passed the No Child Left Behind standards. Handing that diploma to 90% of seniors keeps that federal dollar coming in and the doors open for business. Here's a quick life lesson Idaho schools: Regardless of the NCLB mandates, the modern world revolves around good college degrees not high school diplomas.

Generally, graduating seniors have no idea or plan on how to get to the next step. Only one other senior from my son's football team went on to college. It's like these kids need to go to high school detox. They have to recover from being spoon fed educational pudding then suddenly start digesting the real meat of life. If they don't recover quickly, then life will certainly turn and eat them alive.

Oh, yes they have their diploma and freedom to pursue their dreams, but what happens when the jolt of reality wakes them up? It is no longer a free or reduced lunch anymore. It doesn't matter if you can run the 800 in less than 2 minutes. None of that crap matters anymore. The coach is gone and so is your favorite teacher. Welcome to real life and good luck.

So according to these studies 70% of these kids are unable or unwilling to get a college education. What do these kids end up doing with all this new-found freedom and youthful energy? Some find work at the corner store to pay for the car loan, gas, and phone. Some find part time work, join the Army or just live at home. Some get real good at computer games, party, have sex, or whatever to pass the time. They wander around trying to figure out life-sometimes for years. Sometimes they never figure it out. Why didn't after 12 years of schooling and millions of dollars of tax money prepare them for this moment? One cruel blow of reality is that just because you are a high school graduate does not give you much of an advantage when over 90% of everyone else has a high school diploma. (6)

Who is to blame for this mess?

I put the blame on the school system for this whole economic problem. "The school system" is what is broken and not the caring coaches and teachers of the school. The system had our kids for 12 years 6 to 8 hours a day, employed the best educators, spent 1.2 million a year per district...and it can't do better than 30%? By the way, that 30% includes home and private school students. So don't take credit for that whole 30% Idaho.

When I was a kid and came home with a 30% I would have my butt beat. 'Wait till your father gets home Idaho schools. Wait a minute. Do you even have a father? Well, someone should beat your butt with an Idaho panhandle paddle for such bad grades. Then take away your Lotto allowance too. You are grounded from playing with any more school levy money until you get your damn ACT together. Is that understood Idaho schools? Now go to your school board meeting."

Ain't it great bout them thar college kids tho?

What makes matters even worse is that not all of those 30% "college prepared" students finish college. The NCHEMS study showed that in Idaho, only one half of those who start college would finish college. For the year 2008 NCHEMS confirmed that Idaho was again at the bottom of the union. Only 15% were able to make the full transition from high school and complete college.(3) Now we are down to 10 to 15 percent of the population earning a decent degree. That figure is consistent with a recent demographic study for Post Falls, Idaho. With a population of 28,000 only 2,800 of the adult residents had a BA degree.(5)

So what can I do about it?

As a single dad with no family support and raising 4 kids by myself, I had to do something. I had to break this poverty cycle for my kid's sake and their future families. I became determined not to let them fall to those terrible statistics. I was sure not going to depend on a failing school system to do it either. I wanted them to graduate from college. They were already at a disadvantage with generations of family poverty and an unstable living environment. I was not much help with my worthless AA and Medical Assistant degree either.

So I approached this situation with a "scared successful" method of discipline and motivation. Fortunately, my kids are smart and respectful. Eventually, they understood the value of a good education. Once they grasped it there was no stopping them. They excelled in school, sports, community programs, and church.

Now Moriah is 21 years old, has her own apartment, car and completing her nursing program at NIC. Jacob is a sophomore at the University of Idaho and playing football for the Idaho Vandals. Ivory is a senior at Post Falls High with one of the highest GPAs in the school. She is active in her church and helps handicapped kids. Ivory and Moriah are both CNAs and they are all interested in the medical field. Selah, my oldest, is a responsible hard-working mother. She takes care of two children including a disabled blind baby. I could not be a prouder parent.

IT WORKED! I have to tell someone!

These results did not happen by luck or accident. This approach to life and education worked even in my dysfunctional situation. I wanted to share this success with the Post Falls school district. I wanted other parents to have this same insight. I wanted them to have this same experience. I wanted to get this message to their kids before they fell into that 70%.

I put together a curriculum to show the school district. It was a plan designed to motivate, encourage, and direct high school students into higher learning. I invested hundreds of hours to develop material and life lessons. I put together a website for parents who have difficult family issues called 'Life By Phil.' I am also a photographer and produce business videos. So I proposed a plan that would produce student/athlete profile videos. I work with an advertising agency that could host their profiles for very little money. College recruiters, scholarship committees, and potential employers could see these student profiles easily. It included ways to provide scholarship money for application fees, and college entrance tests.

Whoops. I should have done my homework.

I was excited. I believed this would work, help students, parents, and teachers. It could help the economy, Idaho... the world. So I took my polished resume and plan to the Post Falls School District. Unfortunately, they cannot provide access to students unless I am a certified public school teacher. They cannot promote a private business. She also mentioned that those state figures are skewed because of the Mormon population down south. Instead of going to college after high school the boys are going on missions. "We have our own way getting stats and our graduates tell us they plan to go to college. But thanks for coming in." she said. "We are always interested in what parents have to say."

But...but...I have a diploma. Damn. "But I tried, didn't I? #@%, at least I did that." ~Cuckoos Nest

References:

1) NCHEMSInformation Center, College Participation, 18-24 year olds higheredinfo.org/dbrowser/?year=2007&level=nation&mode=graph&state=0&submeasure=331,1/13/2012

2) NCHEMS Information Center,College Participation, 18-24 year olds higheredinfo.org/dbrowser/index.php?submeasure=331&year=2009&level=nation&mode=graph&state=0,1/13/2012

3) NCHEMS InformationCenter, Student Pipeline - Transition and Completion Rates from 9th Grade to College, 2008. higheredinfo.org/dbrowser/index.php?submeasure=119&year=2008&level=nation&mode=graph&state=0, 1/14/2012

4) City-Data.com,Post Falls, Idaho, city-data.com/city/Post-Falls-Idaho.html,1/14/2012

5) ZoomProspector, Post Falls, Idaho, zoomprospector.com/communitydetail.aspx?id=8154,1/14/2011

6) ZoomProspector,Post Falls, Idaho, zoomprospector.com/communitydetail.aspx?id=8154,1/14/2011

Life By Phil is dedicated to encourage, and direct and humor people through the storms of life. Advice on the toughest challenges of Family Life Get your kids motivated in school by Gorrilla Education
Other Topics include: Visitor or Parent, Why Married Life Is Lethal To Marriage, Who's the Hero?, Forgive the Jerk, Rebellion, Childbirth at Home, Bitterness

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What to Do If Your Mother Is Not Speaking to You

So your mother is not speaking to you. I know it's hard so let me speak for you.

"My mother does not talk to me. So Mother's day is painful. When someone mentioned that they went out with their mother, I am crestfallen. It feels like part of me is missing.

Its a day I should be enjoying. It should be so simple. I have a mother, and I love her, but unfortunately the feeling is not reciprocated. Or so it seems.

She is alive and well, and living in the same town as me. But we do not speak. We fell out over something trivial - to everyone else, but is a mountain to us. We might as well be in the opposite ends of the earth. We have been in the same hall at family occasions and she hugs and laughs with everyone else but me. "

How can a mother not love her child? Or if she loves the child - Why not show it? We read of mother's mistreating their child, starving them, beating them, abandoning them. A child surely is the most precious gift. What makes a mother reject this most precious result of her being?

a) For some its a resentment of the father. The father abandoned them. The father mistreated the mother at some time. Every time they see the child, they see the father, because the child resembles the father.

b) For others the child has done something, the mother cannot forgive. The child maybe has done it many times. They just cannot help it. They have apologised, but it keeps happening. The mother cannot accept that it will happen again and prefers therefore not to have a relationship with the child.

c) For many, the mother refuses to talk to the child, because they do not like what the child what the child has become, or the child's partner, or lifestyle.

d) For others, it's the mother who has initially done something which has really upset the child. They had words, and the child said very hurtful words. Words can cut like a knife, and the mother has not recovered from the wounds.

The mother is privately thinking, "My child does not talk to me. We fell out a months/years ago. I miss her/him, but will not make the first move. If they called I would be there for them."

Meanwhile mother is listening out for the telephone on Mother's day, wondering if today her child will call. But the phone stays silent. Or when it rings, she tries hard to hide the disappointment that it's not that particular son or daughter. The funny thing, even if the mother has 6 children, the one that doesn't call is always upper most in her mind. Remember the parable of the prodigal son.

This estranged mother/child relationship is not so rare. We estimate 1 in 10 mother-child relationships are found wanting of love and genuine friendship. When friends are discussing what they did with their mothers, the child feels pangs of pain. No matter how old the child is, from 5 to 75. The feeling of hurt is the same.

Solutions:

How to make up with your mother.....

Send a text, or a card. This gesture is impersonal and avoids the embarrassing silence. It could help to break the ice.

Ask for forgiveness. Say sorry. Even if you cannot see her point of view, just humble yourself and say sorry for causing her to be upset.

If no response to above, ask someone you know to mediate and test the waters. See if there is willingness on the to talk with a third-party.

Remember we do not live forever, so need to make use of the time now. Don't put it off until tomorrow, next week, next month or next year which could possibly not arrive.

This time can pass. The lovely times spent in a good relationship will be remembered forever. Put resentment behind you, close your eyes, forget, and jump into a new phase of friendship.

If none of the above works, know that you tried, and look for surrogate mothers who would actually be honoured if you asked them to be your adopted mum. And talk about the issue with close friends. Don't bury it, to fester in your body. Free yourself. You never know. Time heals, so try again in a few months.

I have a good relationship with my mother now, but it has not always been the case. I have been there, bought the T-shirt, and sold it again.

Early Dawn
January 2012
Website: http://www.earlydawn1.wordpress.com/
Email: earlydawn111@gmail.com
Twitter: earlydawn2009

About Moi: I write about Lifestyle, Love, Business, Money, Economics, Race and Culture, News, Politics and Social Issues. My style has been described as a breadth of fresh air. Informative, Funny and Thought Provoking. I write about many topics so do visit my blog - earlydawn1. I hope to interact with you some time in the future.

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Single Parent Benefits - Implementing Single Mom Success With Easy Change Management Tips

Change is inevitable, right? Even though change is a constant, in many areas of our lives, it doesn't get any easier to embrace. Whether it is losing a loved one or losing a job, the abruptness of it all when we are unprepared means difficult times ahead. As much as we hate to admit it, we humans tend to be more reactive than proactive. Even when we know we have a big presentation first thing Monday morning, we still allow that Saints' victory dance to turn into an all-nighter. We wait until the first named storm of the season to start scurrying for flood insurance. We wait until the absolute last minute to pull out of the parking lot just missing that oncoming car.

Why is it that we don't give ourselves more leeway for error in life? Cutting it close time and time again simply creates more unnecessary stress. These elevated stress levels not only jeopardize our jobs, physical safety and mental health, but it often does great harm to the relationships that mean the most to us. Stress affects others' perceptions of our competence levels on the job and can mean the difference between landing that promotion or a boot on our way to the employment line.

If we know that change is inevitable, why are we not more prepared when it happens? Especially in those cases where the same change cycles happen over and over again? Is it that we are truly clueless? Or are we simply ignoring the distant sounds of any oncoming train? Whatever the case may be, we all probably need to do a better job at anticipating change. Easier said than done, right? Well, not so fast. Let's really think about one reason that we don't make change management a higher priority.

One big factor is that single parent benefits are just not easy to come by. Also, finding easy to understand and simple to implement change management help can be like finding a needle in a haystack. One of the issues that many, single mothers in particular, run into is that there is little to no time to devote to self growth in this area. The lack of time doesn't necessarily have to limit your potential when it comes to change management. Just taking a few minutes a week to learn and implement a new change method will make a huge difference in the long run. Let's do that now and look briefly at some common situations where you can take simple, easy actions for dealing with change.

Technology is Your Friend. OMG, LOL, TTYL... yeah some of these expressions are annoying but these are indicators of the changing times that we are all living in. If you're still trying to keep up with your Motorola pager or your Apple IIE, then it might be helpful to get with the program. Move with the cheese! Numerous setbacks can result from complacency in the face a change. Technology has afforded us information and applications to better manage our lives, often from the palm of our hands. From simply scheduling in time to meditate before a big meeting, to searching for a car on E-bay while waiting for Auto club, to pulling up menus on the way to Apple bee's, the advantages that we have been afforded are virtually limitless. Re-channeling our efforts from Words with Friends to monitoring our 401K progress toward retirement could help divert a serious disaster down the road. In short, use these tools to prioritize and manage our important responsibilities.

Learn From History. Enron. Bernie Madoff. Need I say more about the importance of having a plan B? Each of these historical events indicates that a change management course and plan is not as far-fetched as you might think. Just a little effort to prepare for change can head off a major upset.

Initiate Change. The best way to deal with change is to initiate it yourself. This way you have more control over when and where it comes and the direction in which it goes. A good change management course will emphasize this. By being preemptive, for instance, in soliciting performance feedback from your supervisor before evaluation time shows your interest in performing well and gives you a heads up on his or her perception of your work ethic. This is, of course, assuming that you work in a "fair and balanced" environment. Even if you don't consider yourself the leader of the pack, you can still minimize any negative fallout from change by adapting quickly. By staying on your toes, you can be head and shoulders above the competition. Forget the tortoise and the hare analogy. When it comes to dealing with change, the race does not go to the one who slowly plugs along. It goes to he who adapts most readily to change. When the going gets tough the tough get going.

Ask a Girl Scout. Sometimes, you just can't predict when and where changes will strike. There were more than a few people caught off guard with Steve Job's sudden resignation from Apple. Many times, being prepared when changes strike out of the blue can yield extraordinary opportunities for growth. Just ask Tim Cook who slid into home base as Jobs' new replacement as CEO! The most we can hope for is time enough to adapt accordingly. When we aren't so fortunate, we have to stay constantly prepared to deal with the unknown. When it comes to our career, is it really so difficult to keep our resume updated and close at hand? Once you realize you are about to take the security-escorted walk of shame, it's probably not the best time to request letters of recommendation or copy important files. It might be a lot more responsible to review your 401K contributions before you hit year 29 at the J.O.B. It also wouldn't hurt to start that college fund before the kids hit junior year. In other words, Be Prepared!

While I say much of this in jest, the reality of the matter is we could all lead more streamlined lives by countering complacency with a little preparation and diligence. Remember that change is usually a good thing and a little assertiveness toward your own personal goals will certainly not hurt! If you have aspirations of working you way up to CEO, working from home or just being a better parent, take the initiative to help your family along. By teaching them the skills to better adapt to change with a good change management course, you and your family can become stronger collectively and more confident individually. This comes only to those who actively seek to improve their levels of skill and state of being.

As we at Single Mom Weekly embark on a new horizon of providing a resource for single parent benefits, we hope to be able to provide you with the tools and techniques to help you to create a more fulfilling lifestyle as a single mom. Our partnership with each of you is very important to us and we will rely on you to give us feedback on what we are doing right. We also want to hear about what we can do to improve our contribution to the single parent community for a more relevant experience for you.

Remember that change is usually a good thing and a little assertiveness toward your own personal goals will certainly not hurt! If you have aspirations of working you way up to CEO, working from home or just being a better parent, take the initiative to help your family along. By learning yourself and teaching them the skills to better adapt to change with a good change management course, you and your family can become stronger collectively and more confident individually. This comes only to those who actively seek to improve their levels of skill and state of being. Join us and get our complimentary weekly newsletter written for you by our single mom expert contributors at http://singlemomweekly.com/

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Empowering Youth: Are You Really Protecting Your Child's Well-Being?

In this day and time, everyone is so busy! Many parents find themselves juggling jobs, aging parents, homework, kid's activities, and their adult responsibilities. But with all of your comings, goings and doings, you may be neglecting an all-important aspect of your child's success: his or her emotional well-being.

The first three years of life is critical and all adults involved in your child's life need to put forth great effort to ensure that your child's emotional needs are met on a daily basis. The consequences of not meeting a child's emotional needs during this time can result in violent, disruptive or defiant behaviors.

Why?

During the first three years your child learns bonding and emotional separation. If either of those experiences is developmentally interrupted or inappropriate, misbehavior from your child can be the result. This can hinder the development of healthy relationships as adolescents and drastically affect the relationships your child has as an adult. You know that person who seemed like a "great catch"... until you discovered the emotional baggage he or she kept hidden in their trunk, those childhood skeletons that kept him from committing and her from submitting.

During the first three years of life, the brain goes through its most rapid development ever and by the time a child is three-years-old their brain is already 'hardwired' from the experiences they've had to that point. That alone makes it imperative that your child be surrounded by loving, supportive, safe, positive people so his or her brain will be conditioned to expect great things. But, if your child has been in frightening, hurtful, abusive, or dangerous environments, his or her brain will be conditioned to expect negative things.

What can you do?

1. Put forth concerted effort to make sure your child's emotional needs are met in an encouraging, constructive and healthy manner. Guard your child from being the object of hurtful and demeaning statements.

2. Ensure that your child's care is stable and consistent, and try not to switch care takers during this important phase. Note: quality care is more important than stability, so DO NOT leave your child in unsafe, unhealthy care in the name of stability and/or consistency.

3. Ensure your child feels safe and secure with structured and consistent schedules and routines. Children need to know what to expect and what is expected of them.

4. Be sure to spend as much "quality time" as possible with your child during the first three years, regardless of your busy and hectic lifestyle. A child can sense that your schedule is stressful to you and can become frightened or confused; therefore it's important to show your child that you're never too busy for them.

Your child's emotional well-being is just as important as meeting their physical needs, so do your part to ensure your child knows he's growing up safe, secure, treasured and loved.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/.

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Are You The Best Possible Parent You Can Be?

Raising a child doesn't come with an guide or handbook, so people are left with the debate over what makes the best parents. What are the best ways to raise a child? Many believe that having religion built into their lives is the best way to be a great parent, others say the complete opposite, while others still say a firm hand and an extended education are what's needed.

Honestly, there are as many ways to raise a child as there are parents who raise them, that will never change. We all have had different experiences that we bring into parenthood, as does the person we have that child with. That combination of experiences and emotions will mix together to create an all new parenting experience. The best lessons that give a child that much needed solid foundation will always be a constant, though the means will always be different.

Trust but Verify
Regardless of how this lesson is learned, either through religion or parental lessons, the idea of trusting but verifying is a common principle that must be taught. It won't be as easy as telling him or her to trust but verify what they see, hear, or know. This is a lesson that will have to be witnessed by the child and explained by the parent. The idea of listening to opinion but determining the facts on your own research is becoming completely lost among the world of instant news and information. Knowing how to find the truth after hearing the rumors is a vital part of finding out who you are. Without the ideas formed by their own research, they may only agree with others concepts without actually forming any concepts or ideas of their own.

Tell the Truth
Another of the much needed building blocks of raising a healthy child and makes the best parents is teaching them to always tell the truth. This is a skill that kids are born with, the blunt truth. It is the social norms and the realization of fear that gets people to start lying. By teaching your child that there is never an excuse to lie, you will be practicing the methods that make a better parent.

Pure Time
The most important features of knowing what makes the best parents is, simply, spending time with your kids. Just spending time with your kids will instill them with the idea that you are going to be there for them whenever they need. More over, you can't teach the vital lessons they need to know without spending the ample time with them to do so. If you don't spend enough time with your kids, they may feel abandoned or even not loved. Making time in your schedule for your kids may seem basic, but it is one of the most crucial things to do, when wanting to know what makes the best parents. Don't use the excuse of location to dictate the type of parent you are. Even parents in Chicago where its cold and windy can outshine parents in warmer more temperate climates. Parenting has to do with skills and love.

A Proper Diet
Knowing how to feed your kids a proper diet, without over eating on fast-food or snacks, can easily can keep them healthy and their immune system strong. Most kids never want to eat their vegetables, but there are several ways to make this an appealing food. Use your imagination and your kids will eat a great diet and completely enjoy it.

These are just a few ways and lessons that parents should be teaching their kids to make sure they have the best chance possible at a long and fulfilling life. Gaining new tips and skills can also be found in parenting classes online. Taking a program might be a life changing experience.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management and Parenting provider. Click here for more information on Parenting Classes Online

Dr. Ari Novick also provides world class online anger management classes

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