Child Development: Self-Liberating Preschooler

Child development is a process of a child liberating from dependencies and fears toward freedom. On her way to independence a child goes through the infant, toddler, preschooler, school-age, and teenage stages. A preschooler continues to be introduced and learns to communicate with the world. The new ability to talk expands her freedom to explore the world and acquire knowledge about her brand new identity. At this important stage a child forms her image of herself, her I-concept, which will lead her to happiness or, if her parents are careless, to misery for the rest of her life.

Most experts of modern psychology, mental health therapy, or healing practices say that the heaviest of the emotional problems are rooted in a person's childhood. Most people remember themselves being 4-5 year old when they first realized their identity. With new freedoms a child has new choices and new fears. At this important stage a child learns to navigate herself through the choices and avoid dangerous consequences. If in this process of exploring the world the child discovers more joys than fears, she will grow up into a happy person, friendly to the world. If there will be more fears in her young life she might grow up into a person preoccupied with her insecurity.

A lot is going on in a preschooler's mind. Who am I? Am I good or bad? Am I pretty? Am I wanted? A child is forming her image of herself, her I-concept. Simon Soloveychik emphasizes that at this age a child forms something that she will call later - her soul. Even 70 years later an old lady will still have a little girl inside her. The belief of her value that formed at age 5 will attract her life circumstances to match this belief. This perception does not change through life, unless the person decides to change it in the process of internal growth.

To understand what a child feels at this stage imagine a tourist in a foreign country who just learned to speak the language. She is still confusing lots of words and often feels helpless. Fortunately she has a guide who is leading her through the new country. Sometimes the guide is preoccupied with her duty and righteousness to lead the tourist to safe and proper places. When she gets in tourist's way the tourist goes around by herself toward unknown places and new adventures. She speaks to strangers and learns about the country she is going to live in. Thus she liberates herself toward the new level of freedom, identifying herself in this new environment.

Like tourist in the foreign country a child strives to navigate through the new world. However, overprotecting parent may get in her way. Driven by fear for a child, a mother may take a free will of a child as a threat to her authority. As a result, a power struggle begins. Sometimes it turns into a war between a child and a parent, which may continue through both their lives. Unfortunately many parents don't know other ways to communicate with the child because they grew up constantly battling with their own parents. Now, when they obviously have power, they exercise it as their right to punish or have mercy. But what they don't realize is that a child may accept this punishment as something which belongs to her identity. When grown up she will continue punish herself, in her mind, because of guilt, self-hatred and a habit to be insecure.

To break the evil circle of insecurity is the only one thing a parent can do: heal herself by letting fears go! This is an internal work of soul. However, nothing else works. A child at a preschooler stage is a very sensitive and spiritual being. She will immediately sense the parent's transformation, even the slightest shift of it. She would be grateful and learn to grow too.

Parenting For Everyone - raising children with love and conscience http://www.parentingforeveryone.com/

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Signs Your Child May Have ADHD

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is believed to affect about 4 million kids in the U.S. and millions more throughout the world. Over the last several years, ADHD has often been seen a trendy diagnosis, with many people dismissing it as a mere personality trait rather than a problem that warrants treatment. But while there are actually some benefits to mild ADHD, any parent of a severely ADHD child knows that this condition can be quite detrimental, especially when it comes to school. Kids with ADHD often have trouble focusing in class, and they tend to act up in ways that may earn them reputations as problem students.

Diagnosing ADHD can be challenging because every child with this condition is different. However, the one thing that all parents of kids with this condition have in common is that they sense their children aren't normal. Children with ADHD often have trouble fitting in, and they may even have negative emotional responses to their conditions from very early on. Parents tend to notice these things, yet they may not realize it is ADHD until years into a child's life.

ADHD in early childhood

The first symptoms of ADHD tend to arrive during early childhood. In fact, many mothers of hyperactive children say they remember their unborn babies kicking unusually vigorously in the womb, and there is also plenty of anecdotal evidence saying that colicky babies tend to develop ADHD later in life. Neither of these claims have been scientifically proven.

By preschool age, the symptoms should become much more apparent. If you hear form your child's preschool teacher that he has trouble following directions, sitting still, or controlling his emotions, this is a good sign that ADHD may be a factor. Even at this age, children with attention-deficit and hyperactivity tend to have a high level of energy, and this is shown in practically everything they do. In some cases, it may even lead to fights with other children or behaviors that may be perceived as aggressive.

ADHD in older kids

During elementary school, the signs of ADHD become particularly apparent. You can tell certain things about a child by how she acts at home, but these behaviors become most troublesome at school, which is why the condition is rarely diagnosed until children are in the 7-12 age range. At this age, some of the most common symptoms of ADHD include:

difficulty paying attention or staying seated during long hours of school;trouble listening and following directions;aversion to homework (rooted in difficulty with such tasks);absent-mindedness, often leading to forgetfulness and frequently losing items;excessive talking, even when the child is supposed to be quiet;frequent fidgeting;constant feelings of restlessness;difficulty waiting in lines or taking turns with other children.

During adolescence, untreated ADHD can lead to additional problems, which may include depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders. Meanwhile, consistent poor performance in school may create conditions where the child is more likely to act out and join the rebellious crowd at school. In most cases, taking care of ADHD early on can get a child on track.

Dealing with ADHD

Every child is hyper or inattentive from time to time. In general, even a moderately above-average amount of hyperactivity is nothing to be worried about and probably does not require treatment. However, when a child's attention-deficit or hyperactivity leads to poor school performance, self-destructive behavior, or frequent fighting with other children, intervention becomes necessary.

If you suspect that your child's hyperactive behaviors may be signs of ADHD, then you might want to consider consulting with your family doctor about whether a medical evaluation is necessary. If it proves that your child does have ADHD, talk to your doctor about potential treatment options.

By Jamell Andrews

Jamell Andrews, a graduate from CSU Fullerton, majored in Language Arts and authors numerous articles on parenting for the popular journal site http://www.parenting-journals.com/. She also believes in the many uses of infant gripe water for fussy babies.

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Child Care Providers: How to Pick the Right One

Entrusting your child to a sitter or day care center can be a difficult decision. Here are some guidelines for ensuring the best care for your child and peace of mind for you.

1. Hiring a sitter

a. Check the applicant's personal references. Ask the former employer if the sitter was reliable? Whether the children liked her? If she ever faced and emergency and if so, how she handled it.

b. Ask the job-seeker what she likes most and least about babysitting. What activities she enjoys doing with children and how she would handle such problems as an infant who wakes up with a fever.

c. If the sitter is fairly young, try to gauge whether she is mature enough to handle problems. If the sitter is elderly, make sure that she is energetic enough to keep up with your baby or toddler.

d. Spell out clearly your views on discipline. No one should be allowed to strike a child. Make sure that you tell the sitter that physical punishment is ground for dismissal.

e. Discus whether you allow smoking as health experts advise against smoking in the presence of infants and children. Discuss your policy on alcoholic beverages and whether the sitter is allowed to have visitors to the house.

f. Invite her to spend an hour or so with you and the child and watch how they interact. Does she seem comfortable with the child? Does she appear to like him or her?

g. Trust your instincts. If the sitter has all the right answers, but something about her bothers you, do not hire her.

h. Arrange for your sitter to get a complete physical examination. This should include a TB test, especially if she has recently lived or traveled abroad.

2. Training your sitter: Once you have chosen a sitter, schedule a get-acquainted session in which you give her a tour of the house and detail your child's habits and needs. Of course, the sitter should be paid for the time she spends in this meeting.

a. Emphasize the location of exits to be used in the event of a fire. Review family's evacuation plans.

b. Show her where you keep your flashlight and fist-aid kit. She should also know where to find the fuse box and other essential items

c. Outline rules on use of the phone, TV, stereo and VCR.

d. Specify what snacks you will provide. Note that you will expect the sitter to clean up after snack time.

e. Show her where you keep diapers, extra clothing, bottles, formula food and other baby supplies.

f. Review the proper way to pick up, hold, feed and diaper the baby as well as instructions on sterilizing bottles and serving baby food.

g. Describe your child's special pre-sleep habits such as crying, rocking, sucking on a finer, thumb or pacifier.

h. Trust your sitter as a professional. If you anticipate a long-term relationship, write up a job description and an agreement detailing working hours, salary overtime pay and benefits.

i. Explain the sleeping positions you want for your infant.

j. Every now and then, make an unannounced stop at your or home. It is an effective way to learn what is happening in your absence, especially if your child is too young to talk.

3. Coping with emergencies

a. Post important phone numbers: home, office, pediatrician, police, fire, ambulance, nearest hospital, poison control center, a neighbor or relative to call in a pinch.

b. Leave an abbreviated medical history-your child's allergies, medications, immunizations and illnesses.

c. Review first-aid procedures. Better yet, have the sitter take a course at a hospital or Red Cross chapter.

d. Supply a signed release form authorizing emergency medical services in your absence. You can obtain the form from a doctor or an attorney. Without it, doctors can treat a child only if withholding care would be life-threatening.

e. Leave enough money in an envelope to pay for cab fare to the nearest emergency room. Write on the envelope the phone number of a taxi service, the address and phone number of the hospital, both parent's offices during the day and where they may be reached at other times.

4. Judging day care

a. Inquire whether the center is state-licensed which means it must meet minimum standards of safety, hygiene, and staffing. Although not all states require it, ask if the center conducts a criminal history background check on its employees.

b. Ask about employee turnover. A fairly stable staff often indicates a well-run center with experienced dedicated caregivers.

c. Check social service agencies to find out if any reports have been filed on the center.

d. Whether home or center-based, day care facilities should be warm and inviting places. First, look at the physical facility. Is it neat and free of safety hazards? Do you see toys, books, and play equipment appropriate to young children? Is the kitchen clean and large enough for adequate meal preparation?

e. Is the bathroom clean? Is there a place for changing diapers safely? How are solid diapers disposed off? Antiseptic procedures for handling soiled diapers are crucial to keeping young children healthy.

f. Ask to observe a provider changing a diaper. Ideally, she should wear thin plastic gloves, wash her own and the baby's hands afterward, turn the water off with a paper towel and sanitize the changing area.

g. Inquire about how the staff handles diaper rash.

h. Ask about immunization requirements for the child and other health polices.

i. Observe interactions between the provider and the children and among the children themselves. Do the kids look happy? Does the staff seem to know how to handle conflicts among children?

j. Arrange to meet every one who will have contact with your child including bus driver and janitors.

5. More pointers

a. Check out the activity schedule. See if snack time, lunch and naps are always at the same hours, so the day has pleasant predictable rhythm to it. Young children need a regular routine.

b. Ask if you can visit during the day unannounced.

c. Try to avoid overcrowded facilities.

6. Playing outdoors

a. If the day care center offers a playground with swigs, seesaws and other equipment, look at their condition.

b. Swings should be lightweight but sturdy.

c. On a slide, there should be guardrails or barriers on the elevated platform.

d. If you expect your child to play outdoors for any length of time, be sure to put sunscreen on him or her before the child leaves home. Apply sunscreen to the child's face year round, winter or summer. Cover any other exposed skin as well.

Did you find this article informative? If yes, you can subscribe to Shivraj Ghorpade's blog http://www.problemsolvingarticles.com/category/parenting/ through RSS feed or through Email by just typing your email address. You will receive many such informative articles in your email box.

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Helping The Anxious Child

Anxiety in Children

All children experience anxiety; it's normal and expected - particularly at specific developmental times. From the age of 8-9 months of age for example, a baby may begin to show worry and distress at being separated from a parent or known carer and this may continue through the pre-school years. Worries about particular events or objects may also become prominent for some children as they grow older - a fear of spiders, the dark, animals, strangers or thunder and lightening - and this may continue into the primary school years.

As with any behaviour however, it is the:

· frequency
· intensity
· level of distress
· duration
· disruption that it causes to the child's (and family's) life

that determines whether a parent should seek help.

Many children will develop ways of coping with situations that previously caused them fear - even in the absence of the parent coaching or reassuring them; they literally seem to 'grow out of it'. Others, however - who may be genetically and temperamentally 'hot wired' for greater reactivity and anxiety - continue to show high levels of fear with few coping strategies, despite maturing.

Some symptoms of anxiety include:

Refusing to go to schoolFrequently 'fussing' about going to school; delaying, complainingComplaints of pain - frequently stomach aches or 'feeling sick'Constant thoughts about parents or carers being injured or becoming illTantrums or panic when parents leave the childAvoidance of social situations - visiting other children's homes without a parent; answering the telephoneFretting about events before they happenConcern about or refusal to participate in any new activitiesExtreme fear about a specific thing or situation - needles, insectsRefusing to talk to those outside the familyTrouble sleeping or nightmares

It is important not to assume that a child will 'grow out of' their anxieties - particularly if they are showing signs of those behaviours listed above. Anxiety behaviours can become habitual and entrenched responses, and a plan is required to interrupt the avoidance pattern that is so often a feature, together with coaching the child in coping strategies.

Something that parents often find confusing in dealing with their anxious child is the contrast between the child's general reserve and timidity, but when faced with dealing with their fear - usually at home - the child displays a tenacity and ability to be a 'refusing tyrant' - that leads parents to believe that the child is in some way faking their initial distress. However, this is very common, particularly when the fear responses have become habitual - for example in refusing to attend school - and it is why seeking professional help through a mental health clinician is recommended.

Children can be taught to recognize, monitor and manage anxiety, but it is best done in partnership between the parent, family and a mental health professional. If your child is showing behaviours that appear anxiety driven and if they are causing disruption to the family or interfering with normal, everyday activities, talk to your family doctor and ask for a referral to a mental health practitioner experienced in dealing with children. Medication is rarely indicated for children - rather the challenging of responses in a gentle and graduated way, together with helping parents to also adjust their own responses to the child's distress - an important part of breaking the 'anxiety cycle'.

Anxiety disorders - left untreated - do cause limitation of a child's life and suffering. But they are treatable, so don't delay in seeking further assessment if you have concerns.

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Empowering Youth: Teaching College Kids About Money

College can be a financially dangerous phase for your child because they are out of your house and totally on their own. Here's how you can prepare your young adult for the endless financial temptations they will face.

Money problems

Money dominates many adult conversations yet we hardly talk about finances with our kids. So if money talk is taboo in your family, now is the time to break the silence and make a conscious decision to be open. Talk to your young adult about financial challenges you may be facing. Let them know that money problems may come and you are there to help when they do. Note: Help does not mean "fix the problem by paying the bill or wiring money". Help means talking them through the problem-solving process.

Delay impulse

Teach your young adult to delay impulse - especially if it is the impulse to buy. Train them to stop and think before any purchase that costs more than $25. A college student may be an adult by number but they don't have enough life experience to manage self-control without your gentle guidance. Remember, they are battling all kinds of whims on a daily basis and frivolous spending is the least of the challenges on your child's mind.

Contract conscious

Since your young adult is away from home, it is important for him/her to become familiar with contracts. Don't wait until they have signed their life away and it's too late. Make sure they understand what a contract is and is not, the types of contracts they will likely encounter, and how to evaluate a contract's character. Teach them to never sign anything without first considering other options for the purchase, researching the contractor, carefully reading the terms and fine print of the agreement, and consulting a wise third party.

Financial history

Teach your young adult how to set and stick to a budget so their expenses don't outpace their income. Let's face it; in this day and time their financial history may be more important than their actual finances. Make sure to stress the value of financial integrity. Be certain he or she understands how credit reports work and specifically why having too many credit cards, late bill payments, over the limit fees, a lot of account inquiries, and charge-offs will affect more than future purchases. It will also impact their ability to get a J-O-B.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Should You Beat Your Child?

A glaring portion of the Bible boldly states, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." That's the Bible; but what does modern man say?

The issue of whether or not to beat a child has drawn a lot of furor from people the world over. The Bible says you should beat, almost all Africans believe you should beat and actually do so, and many Europeans and Americans say you shouldn't. Having varying views on a particular subject makes it very difficult to make your own decision, more so when it has to do with child training. But if you must raise your child the right way, you must make the right decision on this matter.

The modern child gets exposed at an earlier age than children of older generations, and he learns faster, too. With the TV placed in a central place in the home and plenty of channels to choose from - good and bad - your child is open to all sorts of ideas, behaviors, mannerisms, and lifestyles. If you parents think that you can monitor what your child sees on TV or video at home, you may not be able to control what he gets to learn from his mates at school. In fact, children at six years of age can now download all sorts of videos from the internet, and into mobile phones.

The world now is much more dangerous and wanton, and children these days tend to form habits faster. Few blocks away from your home; at school, in your neighbor's house, at the playground, and even in church, your child is constantly exposed to other children and adults who have one questionable behavior or the other. And your child is always watching and learning.

Every child has an innate tendency to be disobedient and dissident. As young as they are they want to do things on their own, hiss at you when you correct them, and hit you back when you hit them.

There is no such thing as letting your child grow the way he is. If you follow such advice you'll lose him. It is not easy to raise your kid from childhood to youth without discipline. And this discipline involves using the rod. You have to beat your child in order to get the best out of him. When a child displays his natural tendency to disobey, the rod, not spoken words, can teach him to do the right thing.

When should you beat your child?

There are many ways to punish your child: you can ground him, increase his household chores for a period, or deny him some pleasures such as watching the TV, or using the rod. The type of punishment should depend on the severity of the offence. So, when should you use the rod?

You should beat your child when he disobeys your direct order over and over. Since he's just a child, it may not be fair to use the rod on him every time he disobeys your order. Remember that children have these moments when they are just nuts. They may remember instructions, but may be enjoying whatever it is they are doing so that they just ignore parental instructions. You should let them off in such situations. However, when your child disobeys a straight-forward instruction from you repeatedly, then, the rod should definitely play its role. The truth is that sometimes children take their parents for a ride unless they are caned.

If you have to flog your child, it should not be done with bitterness or anger. It should be done in love with the sole intent being to correct, not to injure. It's of no use beating your child without telling him what he's done wrong. You must let tell him the reason why you are beating him.

It's very important that you let your child know and truly feel that you are beating him because you love him and want to bring out the best in him, and not because you want him to feel pain. Many parents make the mistake of wanting to make their child feel pain, making him become ever more stubborn.

The injunction to "spare the rod or spoil the child" can't come at a better time than this. Your child needs both discipline and love. Beat with one hand and cuddle with the other.

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Children Being Effected by Cyber Bullying

Most of us know what it feels like to be the outcast; the disappointment of feeling left out or excluded. Being the last one picked for the team, or teased for being different. Well in today's young society, cyberbullying is becoming a problem for young people and making them feel even more ostracised and excluded. This negative trend affects nearly half of young people ages 10-24. Girls are the victims of this disgraceful behaviour nearly twice as often as boys are with sometimes tragic effects. The rise in teen suicide has been linked to cyberbullying now more than ever before.

Bullying on the Internet is the next step in the evolution of the schoolyard bully. He/she still strives to intimidate, threaten and demean his/her victims, only using the technology of the present to achieve his/her goals. Tools that are used are: text messaging, email and other social networks to promote smear campaigns against his/her intended victim, and will enlist the help of other mean girls and boys to join forces again the object of the smear. This could stem from an imagined slight, being excluded from a team sport; jealousy or animosity against a classmate or teammate. Whatever the basis for it is, these smear campaigns can be hurtful and even harmful to the victim.

The culprit is often difficult to identify, and as with other forms of bullying, there is a shame and embarrassment factor that keeps victims from informing authorities about the situation. Parents and school officials are often unaware that one of their young people are the victims of such behaviour; only that there are negative changes happening. They may observe failing grades, inattentiveness, mood changes, or a gradual isolation of the victim.

Once the parent or teacher is made aware of the situation, they should take immediate steps to put a stop to the situation. It is possible to block the offender from access to his/her victims in a methodical and effective manner. Report abuse to social networks and email carriers as any form of child harassment violates all user agreements. Steps can be taken to ban these aggressors from social networks, block access to the child's phone, text messaging and email. Cyberbullies are usually clever enough to have multiple accounts, so care must be taken to identify and block all user names and screen personas belonging to this form of behavior. It may be necessary to notify law enforcement should the cyberbullying become a physical threat to your young person. Do not risk your child's safety by taking this problem too lightly. This is a serious matter that must be dealt with sternly and with zero tolerance.

Checkout chatsec's child protection Facebook app http://www.chatsec.com/ that protects your child from getting harassed and feeling like they are in the pout crowd.

Chatsec's child protection Facebook app uses a complex algorithm that monitors your child's account so no one except you, the parent, can see what is going on. No more sorting through your child's Facebook content and wondering who they are talking to online. Chatsec's child protection Facebook app displays all concerning content on an easy to read platform for your convenience. Chatsec puts parental control back in your busy life at the click of a button.

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Empowering Youth: Is Social Media Your Child's Friend or Foe?

Do You Monitor Your Child's Wall or Page or Site?

Do You Know Your Child's Login & Password?

Do You Look To See Who They Are Making Friends With?

Do You Have ANY Rules About Their Social Media Activity?

Forget them whining about privacy. It's a dangerous world out there in cyberspace and until they move out of your house and pay ALL of their own bills... there is no such thing as privacy!

At the very least you must make sure they are using Social Media responsibly and not just assume they are. And even if you don't use or like Social Media yourself, you need to get an account before you find out the hard way what your child is saying, doing and where he or she is really going.

The funny thing about kids. They put all of their business on their wall, like adults can't read it.

Even if your child is not doing something wrong, per se, they are still probably posting things that a current or future employer would not like.

Did you know that employers read applicants Social Media sites before making a hiring decision?

Did you know that YOUR employer reads your Social Media page too?

Did you know that future clients, JV partners and existing customers read YOUR rantings too?

Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate with your child. Setting clear expectations about what is and what is not acceptable online behavior is imperative to successfully teaching your child right from wrong. If the parameters are muddled or your child learns that in one situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule does not, it causes confusion and frustration on both sides.

Sit down with your child well in advance and lay out your social media expectations and consequences of breaking the rules. Make it clear that there will be no room for negotiation at the time of the infraction, and that you will be firm in your discipline. Rules regarding your child's safety, health or well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or enforced. Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and child can agree upon.

If necessary, make a written social media contract between parent and child, in language your child can clearly understand. For younger children, you might want to develop a social media schedule within the contract. Make sure your child understands that monitoring their online activity is your way of teaching them. It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that rules are meant for their well-being.

Spot checking your kid's online activity can prevent them from making cyberspace mistakes that will live forever!

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Empowering Youth: The Only 3 Things Your Child Needs to Be Successful

What are you willing to do for your child's success? Really think about this before you leap to answer.

Sure, it sounds good to say "I would do anything for my child"...

But would you really?

To be sincerely "willing" to do whatever it takes for your child's success, you would...

1. Not use unkind words towards your child

2. Not tell white, black or blue lies to or in the presence of your child. (And yes that includes telling somebody that you aren't home when you don't feel like talking)

3. Know your child's friends and meet all of their friend's parents

4. Spend more time talking with your child than you do talking at your child

5. Not baby and shelter your child from the good and bad experiences of life

6. Not buy them everything they want or most everything either

7. Give them rules and responsibilities with appropriate consequences

8. Allow them to make mistakes and resist the urge to "fix it" for them

Of course the list could include things like smoking in the house which is bad for their health, exposing them to too many "uncles" which is bad for their relationship skills, and being too tired or busy to attend their activities which is bad for their self-esteem.

So again, what ARE you willing to do for your child's success?

You want to be a "great" parent but...

Love without action is fruitless.

Gifts without TIME is useless.

A map without a destination is foolish.

And success without work is just a WISH.

It may be true that kids don't come with a manual but there are clearly certain things kids need to be successful.

Some things are external while others are internal. Some are best planted by the parents, some are best fertilized by teachers and some need to be developed by a mentor. And then there are those success qualities, skills and knowledge that can only come from experience. No matter how you slice it, it is going to take a village to empower your child for success and your child can't do it alone.

There are many lessons your child needs to learn in 18 years but sometimes adults make things way more complicated than they ought to be so here are a few secrets.

Your child needs to learn:

1. Financial Management

2. Business Excellence

3. Leadership Greatness

Now if you really think about it, in the process of learning those three areas your child will develop everything else they need to be successful.

When you focus on the majors, the minors will fall into place.

"Though you cannot go back and make a brand new beginning, you can start from today and make a brand new end"

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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How You Could Be Wishing Your Child's Life Away

Have you noticed there seems to be such a rush to get everything done? Why the rush? Are you intending to be on this amazing planet of ours for a short time?

This even applies to parenting. Each age group will present itself with its own set of challenges... and of course its own set of rewards. I don't know about you, but that's exciting!

Thinking back to when my own children were babies, which seems such a long time ago, especially as I know have a son who towers over me. (It is hard to look back and think of them being so small at times). I remember wanting them to walk, talk and do everything. It seemed as soon as each of them reached one milestone we were already eagerly awaiting the next one. I will admit it, there were times I felt a little anxious when my child wasn't quite up to where all the other babies or toddlers were... and I know I'm not the only one guilty of this. Especially the first time around.

The thing I now understand is that we all get there. Whether someone's child speaks earlier than your child honestly doesn't matter. If we continually look forward and not enjoy who they are now, then we are wishing their life away. Don't get me wrong, I have been a parent. I know how exciting it is; the first word, when they start crawling, talking and walking. Instead of searching and reaching for the next milestone, stop and enjoy the miracle that is being presented. The next milestone will come when it is ready, when your beautiful son and daughter is ready. Not when you are.

And of course this doesn't simply apply to our babies and toddlers either.

When I think about my nearly eldest 16 year old son, I still wonder how we got here. I also appreciate how precious each moment is that I have with him (or my other two children). Over the past few days I have been at the State Age Swimming Championships with my son. He has had a rather full program with six individual events and three relays. Of course everyone who competes would love to win a medal, but when you are racing in an event with up to 70 other people, only a small few will go home with them.

It was really encouraging to see, in such a competitive environment, they level of support from both their parents and coaches; no matter where they finished. For many this is the first step of a very long road which may take years. For some, this is the end of the road. For others they are embarking on a rather fast paced highway. But wherever they are in their swimming journey, they have all achieved something, most of us won't. Instead of focusing on the future, let's celebrate what they are doing and achieving now.

When we do that in our own lives, and we show our children, their self-worth rockets. Sure it is important to look to the future and set goals, but it is equally important to enjoy each and every moment that got us there.

Felicity Baker is a mindset expert, author and speaker who specialises in empowering children and the child within us all. Her website Joyful Horizons for Kids is the #1 Single Resource For Parents On Creating Strong and Positive Self-Esteem In Their Kids Today and In The Future.

Felicity's "NO THEORY ONLY" philosophy means that everything she recommends has already been "tested" with her own children and the results are positive and proven.

For a FREE Video Series on Building Your Child's Self-Esteem visit http://joyfulhorizonsforkids.com/freevideo

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Qualities to Being a Good Parent 2 - Eleven More

The first ten qualities to being a good parent went so well here are eleven more.

1) Spend time with your child alone, and as a family unit.

Pen, not pencil, in a time to do something special with your child. Read to them at night, go on a walk together. Get to know your child. Also, do things as a family. Eat dinner together, play a board game together, even play handball together... By doing this you are creating a family bond. Kids who do not deal much with their parents or sibling(s) can be clueless as to what families actually do together. Give your child a basis.

2) Show your child how to solve life problems.

If you don't teach your child how to deal with problems in the correct manner, who will teach them? Problems can range from how to deal with friends who are mean to how to lose a game without having a melt down. Life can he hard, teach them how to handle it as best as possible.

3) Instill the idea of moderation. I.e. Food. TV. Computer games. You can't have everything all the time.

4) Teach good eating habits. Monkey see, monkey do.

5) Teach tolerance towards others by your own behavior.

6) Teach your child about finances.

It's no joke when a woman says, "Oh I have no head for finances. My parents never taught me." Children should learn how to budget their money. They shouldn't spend money on things they don't have money for. Credit card debit can be like a black hole. It's hard to get out of.

7) Teach your child responsibly.

From pitching in with chores to turning in their homework on time. Your child's boss later in life is not going to believe their dog ate the company's project report.

8) Teach an appreciation for life.

If you complain and whine about life and what it dealt you, you are instilling negativity in your child. There are things to appreciate. From art to nature to your pet dog to the right of having a fair trial in the U.S.

9) Teach your child about safety.

The world is not perfect. You need to teach your child to protect themselves. This can be from the danger of matches to not going anywhere with a stranger, no matter if the person says that they are hurt, you the parent is hurt, or the puppy in their car is hurt and can they help.

10) Give your child a warm, safe home environment.

Your material goods come second to a child's basic needs. Food, clean clothes, and shelter. Also, a child should not have to fear living in their home. No child should be exposed to, or have to worry about, being verbally or physically abused by anyone in their home.

11) Let your child grow and go when the time comes.

One day your child might want a spouse. It's hard to have a good marriage with a parent-in-law poking in your business all the time. Children and adults need to learn to make their own decisions. Just because a minor decision your child picks is different then what you would pick doesn't automatically mean it's the wrong choice. Dealing with parent guilt is not fun.

Find Articles, Parenting Programs, Low Cost Prescription Medicine, Pet Medicine and more at Foundit-4u.com. Follow my BLOG for Parenting Articles, useful Tips, Activity/Art Projects, Recipes, Family Movie Reviews, Children's Book Reviews and a monthly Science Experiment Day.

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5 Signs Your Child Is a "20-Something"

Times are changing for people in their 20s. While their parents were most likely married and starting families well before the age of 30, today many people this age are still living at home and trying to find their place in the world. What causes people to become 20-somethings is a topic for another article, but what we are looking at here are five ways to tell if your child is a "20-something."

Keep in mind that not all people between the ages of 20 and 29 are "20-somethings." This is like saying that all men like Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. Just because they are in their 20s does not mean that they fit into this category. This list will help you identify 20-somethings within that age group.

Here it is:

1. They are unnecessarily nostalgic.

There's nothing wrong with your child reminiscing about the good times they had in high school and college. The problem is that they'd rather work on creating new memories than creating their futures. Hanging out with friends and partying are still priorities, while careers and families aren't.

2. You still pay some of their bills.

I'm guilty of this (hey, I never said I wasn't a 20-something). My parents still pay my cell phone bill. It's not because I want or need them to, but they insist. They know things are a little tight for me, so they want to help me out... and saving me this $75 each month is pretty nice.

3. They still live at home (or have at least once since graduating college)

The housing situation for recent college grads is tough. Everyone expects that they should find a well paying job and their own apartment right out of school. The unfortunate truth is that most people take between six months and one year to find that kind of job. Until then, many are stuck working the same part-time jobs they had in high school and living with their parents. Hopefully you didn't convert their old bedroom into your new office just yet!

4. Their attitudes and values haven't changed much since they were 17.

Many people are classifying the "20-something" stage as an extended period of adolescence. This comes with the same behaviors and beliefs as the first adolescence, the teenage years. A lack of responsibility, failure to commit to anything, and an unyielding optimism about the future are rampant. All doors are still open for 20-somethings, but they haven't chosen which door to walk through yet.

5. Many of their friends are in the same boat.

Being a 20-something is not an uncommon thing. Many people are delaying their adulthood as long as possible, and surround themselves with likeminded people. Take a look at your child's friends. Are they still living at home? Can you see a lot of similarities between them? Chances are that if your child is a 20-something, a lot of his/her friends are too.

Hopefully this list will help you decide if your kid is a 20-something. Now if only anyone had any ideas of how to break them out of this phase...

Kyle is a 26 year old writer living in western New York. Recognizing the growing number of people in their late 20s postponing major life milestones, Kyle runs a blog where he discusses his own life as a 21st Century 20-something. Find it at Diary of a 20-Something.

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How to Help Children With a Divorce

Divorce may be one of the worst moments in your life, and it will impact everything happening in you and your children's lives. Many children will experience the pain, frustration, stress, and loss that divorce brings to their lives. While kids are very resilient they need help adjusting to a new life when their parents are separated. There are many things that the parents can do to help their children with the divorce process. Often how you deal during the divorce impacts how they handle their loss.

When you break the news of the divorce or separation, keep in mind how you approach the subject. Tell them honestly and simply what is happening. When telling your children about the divorce, never say anything detrimental about the spouse; gently explain that it is the best thing to do for you and your spouse. Answer their questions and help them to understand as best as possible. Reassure them that they did not do anything that lead to the divorce. Children will often blame themselves during the divorce process. They may then try to negotiate with you or your spouse about things they could change that would keep the family intact. As simply as possible let them know that aren't in anyway responsible for this divorce. Reassure them with a discussion that they did not do anything that caused the divorce, and then calm them with a discussion about their feelings about the separation.

Expect a mix of emotions everything from depression to anger to denial and everything in between. Children are grieving the loss of their family. While grief may not be a perfect example, it does help to remember to understand the potential emotions your children are feeling. Some typical stages of grief include anger, depression, denial, bargaining, and acceptance, not everyone will experience these stages or go through them in a particular order or length of time. Examples include anger at their parents for the divorce, sadness about not being able to see a particular parent as often, bargaining asking their parents what they can do to keep the family together, denial in refusing to believe or understand that the divorce is happening, and finally acceptance that the separation is taking place. Be accepting of any feelings that your children have, allow them to have their feelings, and help them to understand that it is OK to feel upset and hurt because of what is happening. Talking to them, answering questions, and being accepting will go a long way towards them coping well with this transition in their lives.

Keep your children out of your fight with your spouse. Do not speak badly about your spouse or discuss any legal/financial matters in front of your children. Discussing legal and financial affairs often serves to confuse your children about what is happening even further, making their adjustment period even harder to deal with. Particularly do not force your Children to choose sides. Choosing sides can backfire and create resentments and difficulties for everyone, particularly when you need to be on the same page as your ex-spouse about a discipline issue. By minimizing the disruption to your child's routines and making transitions and changes as routine as possible, will help with the adjustment process for your children.

Get help dealing with your own painful feelings about the divorce. If you're able to adjust; then, your kids will be more likely to do so. There are many different groups and programs aimed at helping people deal with their divorce such as Divorce Care and Divorce Care for Kids. Be patient with yourself and your children; because, this is not an easy process. There will be both good and bad days: but, by being patient, you will make it easier for your children; and yourself. Spend quality time interacting with your kids and help them to adjust. Continue to feel that they are special to you as you go through the divorce process.

Recognize stress that your kids display. Consult your kids' teachers, doctor, or a child therapist for guidance for handling specific problems you're concerned about. Feeling hurt and or overwhelmed by your divorce is not a reason to confide in your children. This will only cause confusion and bad feelings toward you or your spouse. For help sorting through your feelings, consider joining a divorce support group or seeking counseling. If you and your spouse need help reaching decisions about your children during or after the divorce; then, consider using the services of a family or divorce mediator.

Your kids may: likewise, benefit from counseling. Particularly if he or she has significant behavioral issues, seems depressed or has trouble adjusting to the divorce after the first year. You can help your children to understand what has happened by being honest and providing reassurance.

Jeffrey Gallup graduated from Stephen F Austin Statue University in 2004, earned a Master's degree in Community Counseling, and is Licensed Professional Counselor.

Jeffrey has a strong background in providing counseling and psychological assessment to children, teens, young adults and their families. Having completed internships at Timberlawn Hospital, and Avenues Counseling Center he has worked with a variety of people from all backgrounds, and cultures.

http://www.mansfieldcounseling.com/

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Testing the Boundaries - What's A Parent To Do?

Challenging behavior in our children can be really...well, challenging! How do you 'handle' a child who suddenly refuses to wear shoes or sit in her carseat/seatbelt or eat, period? Here are some tips to help you regain that snuggly, loving relationship you used to enjoy before your baby became a...shudder...PERSON!

1.) Remove the word 'handle' from your parenting vocabulary entirely. Your child isn't a lion to be tamed or a dog to be trained! He's a person, an individual with thoughts, interests, concerns, wants, and needs that are totally separate from yours. Respecting him as a separate individual not only models the value we need to place on others in our homes and communities, but also sets the stage for a mutually respectful relationship in his teen years and beyond.

2.) Slow down! Often simplifying our lives is the key to simplifying our parenting issues. Rushing a child from one activity to the next doesn't expand her horizons; it stunts her creativity and inherent zest for life, which are the building blocks of a life-long love of learning. When she digs her heels in, pay attention! She's trying to communicate a very deep need for time and space to learn about the world, to play and grow, and to just 'be.'

3.) Small children have very little control over their lives, and the more powerless they feel, the more likely they are to make eating, getting dressed, going to the potty, etc. a battle of wills. Giving choices, engaging your child in making plans, and being flexible and responsive on a daily basis are good 'proactive' parenting, but little people are notorious for their awkward timing in deciding to suddenly assert their independence! Be prepared for those challenging moments by deciding ahead of time how you will respond.

4.) Listen, listen, listen! The first question parents ask me is almost always, "How do I get my child to listen?" And my first response is usually, "How well do you listen?" As Ralph Waldo Emerson so aptly put it, "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." In other words, our children learn best by imitation. If every time our little ones ask for our attention we say, "Just a minute," then we cannot expect instant attention from them. If when they speak to us our eyes constantly stray back to our computers and iphones, we should not be surprised if they have a hard time looking at us when we ask them to. Listening is a two-way street that starts and ends with us, the adults.

5.) Boundaries are our friends! Many people believe that Gentle Parenting is a form of un-parenting, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Gentle Parenting is involved parenting~interactive, engaged, active parenting. It takes focused attention, planning, participation, research, and so much more to be an empathetic, responsive parent who is in tune with their child's needs and who is prepared to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to meet those needs. That said, in any home, like in any civilized society, boundaries are necessary for everyone's safety and comfort. It is in the choosing and enforcing of those boundaries that Gentle Parenting distinguishes itself. In a Gently Parented home, boundaries are focused on guiding rather than controlling children and are enforced through empathetic and creative resolutions rather than harsh punitive consequences.

Here are some ideas for your Gentle Parenting toolbox:

• Little one refusing to put on shoes before leaving the house? First, ask him why he doesn't want to wear them. He most likely won't be able to/want to explain, but you're modeling courtesy and opening up a dialogue, both good connection points. Second, don't react; just scoop the shoes up, and take them with you. If the refusal to wear shoes continues at the park/in the library/at the doctor's office, etc. calmly tell him he can sit in your lap or in the stroller and hang out with you until he's ready to wear his shoes.

• If a tantrum results, remember to stay calm (deep breathing, counting silently, and saying a quick prayer for guidance are all helpful!) and remain present. Some children respond well to a parent quietly talking, offering words to express what the child may be experiencing (i.e. "It's frustrating when we have to do things we don't like. I can see that you're angry, and that's okay. Let's just sit here together for awhile."), while other children become more upset when a parent attempts to interact with them during a tantrum and are comforted simply by your quiet presence, a gentle back rub, or playing with a Calm-Me-Jar. Getting to know your child is an important part of Gentle Parenting and will help you to 'read' these situations so you can be responsive to their unique needs.

• A place for Time-Outs. Typically, I advise parents to use Time-Ins instead of Time-Outs in order to connect-to-correct, but there is one area that I advise the use of Time-Outs...the 'Time-Out Toy Box!' When a toy is misused (i.e. thrown, used to hit, drawn on, fought over, etc) and a gentle redirection has been given, the next step for the toy is to be put in the 'Time-Out Toy Box.' Little ones generally find the concept of a toy being put in Time-Out rather humorous and go along with the removal without a fuss (the toy can be returned after an exaggeratedly stern warning to the toy letting it know what is expected of it and that it must listen to 'the boss' ~the child. They love that!), but remember to communicate, listen, and be flexible. If the removal of a toy brings about a strong negative response, it may be that the inappropriate behavior was more than just over-exuberance, in which case a 'Time-In' might be needed. Again, being in tune with your child will help you to 'read' the situation and respond appropriately.

• The most challenging, independent children tend to be the ones who need the most intentional parental reconnection. Strong will=Strong need! It is often the strongest-willed children who identify most closely with their parents, oddly enough. While there is no denying how difficult it can be to raise a strong-willed child, seeing the purpose behind the behavior can make the journey much more manageable. Try to view their seemingly constant testing as them doing 'research' on you, seeing where your strengths and weaknesses are, and discovering all the ins and outs of being you. Also, taking the time to explain why you make the decisions you do, why you said this, why you didn't say that, answering the endless questions patiently and openly, can alleviate some of the challenging behavior by offering them insights into who you are without them having to 'dig' it out of you!

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Do You Know the Real Reason Why Your Baby Is Cranky?

Always thought that babies who cried were an exception or not taken care of, until you had your own? Still not sure what exactly your baby wants or what makes her so cranky?

Crying and cranky babies usually means they're trying to get your attention. Babies communicate fear, pain, hunger, discomfort, and other such things by means of crying. But how, after all, is a parent supposed to know what their babies are trying to tell them? Don't worry, there's nothing like experience to teach you.

Try to work against this basic checklist to find out what it is that your baby is trying to tell you:

Dirty/wet diapers:

While some babies will cry almost immediately after wetting/dirtying their diapers, others will tolerate it for a while before crying. This is possibly one of the easiest things to check your baby for, and something just as easily fixed.

Hunger pangs:

This is the one thing that most people expect to be at the root of crying babies. One way to prevent this is to start to recognize that signs that your baby is hungry. There can be many signs of this, some of which are fussing, sucking on fingers/thumb or putting their hands to their mouth, smacking of lips, rooting (a reflex that makes babies turn their heads to your hand when you stroke their cheek), etc. Learning to recognize what it is your baby does when she's hungry will help you fix the problem.

Requiring Rest:

Most of us think that babies can fall asleep anywhere and in no time. But research has shown that babies are often restless and require something to help them sleep. Thus it is that parents notice their baby reaches for the bottle just before falling asleep. One thing that can help babies sleep better is having a pacifier within their reach.

Some babies also dislike being in vehicles though others fall asleep almost as soon as the car starts. Even if you're not lucky enough to have the latter kind of baby, remember to ensure your baby's safety with a car seat. Do not put yourself and others at risk by trying to soothe your baby while driving. It is very important that you get the right car seat for your baby. Before you buy one, refer to the various car seat reviews that you can find on the Internet.

In addition to this, babies that are hurt or ill can also be cranky. If your baby is consistently cranky, even after you've ruled out the other possibilities and are keeping her warm, dry, well-fed and rested, do go to your pediatrician to rule out any infection or discomfort.

Looking the best car seat for your baby? The right car seat ensures a comfortable journey for the baby. So go ahead, read the car seat reviews now. Get to know various benefit, pros & cons of Britax marathon 70 convertible car seat with Britax marathon 70 reviews and enjoy a hassle free car drive with your kids.

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What Is the Difference Between Good Parenting and Bad Parenting?

This is the most important question for every parent. Every parent constantly struggles to know whether his or her parenting style is working or not. Is it creating positive results or negative. Will it create positive long-term relationship or not. And most important, Will the child understand why the parents react the way they do to the actions of the child and whether this parenting style will enable the child to grow into a responsible and capable adult or not?

The question in every parent's mind is: Should there be a parenting plan to deal with the child? Are there specific parenting skills available to distinguish good parenting from bad parenting?

In this article, we will consider one particular parenting style that definitely will not work. It could easily be termed as bad parenting. That style is 'Giving Lectures and constantly nagging the child' for inappropriate behaviour.

Parents spend a lot of time and effort coaching their child about responsibility. You use all kinds of styles, plans and skills like encouragement, explanation and other ways to communicate to your child how crucial it is to become responsible in life. Therefore you keep giving instructions to your child again and again why he should do what he or she is supposed to be doing. This takes many forms like complaining, shouting, at times playing a victim. All this is nothing but nagging and lecturing on your part (from the point of view of the child at least).

This interaction is as good as talking to the wall and your frustration leads to threatening the child or punishing since your style and skills are definitely not producing results. Your issue is that the child does not clean his room, or take care of dish washing or does not do his school work at home or keeps behaving badly with the younger sibling and does not apologize for his rude and bully behaviour.

Why is it so difficult to convince the child about his non-responsible behaviour? Is it because your child is dumb, or careless or hard-headed? Definitely not. The reason probably lies with you. You need to take the responsibility for your behaviour if your child is consistently displaying irresponsible behaviour.

You are saying this is not true. You are not responsible for your child's irresponsible behaviour. You are making all the effort and you are being vigilant about the child's behaviour throughout the day. You are not leaving any stone unturned. You are right. You are doing more than your share of work. That is the problem. You are not giving any space to your child. You are in the same box and you are driving his life along with him. The child is behaving without responsibly as a reaction to your behaviour than his own need.

Some one rightly said, 'you are not responsible for solving the problem of others. If you do that, you are making that person immature and training him to become dependent'.

Recognize your need to get your child dependent on you. Treat your child as an adult and allow him or her to make the choices. And most important, let him go through the consequences. Only then will he grow. The gold has to go through the test of fire to become refined. Leave the space which belongs to your child. Trust as your parents trusted you. And this subtle change in your behaviour will produce extraordinary results in your child's life.

Recognise your parenting style, good parenting or bad parenting is dependent on you. You can read more on parenting at http://www.goodparentingstyles.info/.

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How to Motivate a Child to Study - 5 Techniques That Work!

Parents send their children to school in high hopes of getting them good education. Families and governments all over the world spend a great portion of their budget on providing for the education of children. The trouble with children nowadays is that they tend to quickly lose interest in things that do not appear fun and are too tedious for them. As most experts would say, attention span is a major factor in helping children remember and learn. And motivation is a crucial element in maintaining children's drive in studying.

How to motivate a child to study: 5 Techniques that work

1. Share Stories and Songs - Stories whether read to children or read independently build their vocabulary and widen their exposure to language. Young children who are not yet able to read by themselves benefit from stories by learning high frequency words and CVC (consonant-vowel-consonant) words which will later be useful in helping children to spell. Making use of songs also enhances children's vocabulary, listening skills and appreciation for music. Children who are auditory learners remember their words better and are able to sound out faster through the help of music. Sharing stories and songs motivate children to study because these ways enhance memory retention without the pressure because they all seem like fun.

2. Incorporate a variety of media - Studying doesn't have to be through books and pen and paper activities. Nowadays, there are plenty of educational games on the internet as well as iPad and other mobile applications. Websites on teacher and parent resources are also available for printables, videos and more Even the television has kiddie shows that help children learn. Disney Junior's Word World for instance, is a great program that is geared towards helping children to spell. How to motivate children to study by incorporating a variety of media means making use of what is available at the home-newspapers, magazines, radio and music, television and the internet. Just an important note though, young children should always be exposed to these in moderation and with a certain time limit.

3. Let them play - Despite the many studies on play as a way of helping children learn, there are still some apprehensions on how this actually works. Well, here is one concrete example on how play is a way of helping kids learn to write. Writing is a fine motor skill and it really takes a while to develop because it goes through stages. Experts would suggest exposing children to a wide array of activities making use of their hands and fingers-- which are mostly play ideas like making use of clay, playing with sand, threading and beading, puzzles, etc.

4. A little praise goes a long way - This is pretty simple, give a small praise or reward when your child learns something new. Young children are fond of getting praises because they are at a stage in their lives wherein recognition of their efforts are such big deals to them. For young children being praised means they are liked and they are good. Thus, the likehood of a repeat in your desired behaviour or skill is much higher with praise.

5. Show enthusiasm as a learner yourself - Children look up to their parents and the adults around them. So if you or their other family members are enthusiastic about learning new things (not necessarily about school), your children will tend to have a positive outlook on learning and studying too.

How to motivate a child to study is not really a herculean task but it takes effort, patience and consistency. Once children find that studying isn't really a drag and they get to enjoy it, the benefits are boundless and you can count on these children to always have the thirst for knowledge.

Joshua See is a work-at-home dad who likes to be with his children and work on his business at the same time. Check out Joshua See blog for more information on parenting

Joshua See is also a successful Entrepreneur, Top Internet Marketer and Global Team Mentor who trains others to achieve Financial Freedom and Independence by creating wealth and prosperity online. For more information on the Top Internet Marketing Tactics for building a successful business, please visit Proven Home Business Opportunities, fill in the form and request your free "Special Report"!

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P-A-R-E-N-T-Ing: Perceive

As we take on our "Parent Challenge" to focus on strengthening the bonds of our family, we will begin the P-A-R-E-N-T-ing series with "Perceive". Webster's defines "perceive" as: to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses, to recognize, discern, or understand.

The purpose of perception is to understand. I often tell my kids they are not really listening to me until they are listening with a purpose of understanding what is said. This is true for all of us. In order to become aware of, recognize, or discern with any understanding we must exert a cognitive effort. This requirement sometimes presents a challenge to most of us right?

James A Baldwin stated, "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." There is a powerful video on YouTube called Children See, Children Do I recommend every parent watch it.

It is important that as parents we know and practice good listening skills. This is especially important because parents are kids' number one role model. Kids imitate everything we do and say. If parents are to teach children good listening skills which result in understanding, parents must practice good listening skills. As a precursor to listening to your kids it is necessary to first perceive, be aware of changes, and recognize when something is going on in their lives. In today's world life move's so fast parents sometimes become taken over with daily pressures and forget to live in the present moments. Therefore failing to recognize those moments when kids really need mom and dad to "perceive".

Then there are those times when mom and dad are aware of something going on but are just too tired to "deal" with it. I've been there. I used to work as a Store Director for the highest volume convenience store in our area. I worked between 70 to 100 or more hours a week. During those two and half years I did not see my twins very much. We stopped eating dinner together and spending any quality time together. I had no idea what was going on in their lives let alone what was on their hearts' or the challenges they faced. Unfortunately this was during one of the most crucial times in their lives, the start of high school!

Both of my girls were going through difficult transitions and the pace of high school was too much for them to absorb. One of my girls was bullied on a regular basis and her sister was overwhelmed so much by the curriculum she began to shut down. Before high school and before my enslavement as a convenience store director I was home every evening with my girls and took the time to know what was going on with them. As well as teach and encourage them on a daily basis which gave them the confidence to overcome their challenges, however this changed.

Most nights upon coming home I had about 30 minutes before I would need to be in bed in order to get enough sleep to be up by 3:30 a.m. I would come home and the house was trashed! The girls had let their friends in the house while I was working and stuff would come up missing. There were dirty dishes all over the kitchen, the trash was overflowing, the dog had not been fed or let out, their shoes and dirty socks were laying all over the living room as well as empty cups and dirty dishes. Their rooms were a disaster as well, while they both lazily sat on the couch on watched television.

I would be so outraged because they knew better. We didn't live like this nor did they break mom's rules. We always did our chores every night after supper! I would lash out at them(which by the way didn't do any good) and I could tell by the backlash(which was completely out of character) of my girls that something was going on in their lives, but I was just too tired to take the time to be a parent! Because of this, things only got worse and the backlashing turned into outright rebellion, dangerous and costly rebellion! I

If you find yourself in these circumstances, driving in the fast lane, not living in the present, life passing you by or you are just too tired to be mom or dad.....make some changes fast! Your kids need you and you only get one chance! They need you at home every night to love, support, teach, and encourage them. They need you to perceive when something is going on in their life and take the time to understand how they are affected by it. Then you can do what you do best! P-a-r-e-n-t!

Jennifer C Vogel, CEO of Freedom Leaders Marketing Group, invites you to sign up for a free parenting webinar workshop by visiting our website at http://www.freedomleadersinc.net/. You will also receive free parenting reports as well as free resources to help make your job as a parent easier. Sign up today at http://www.freedomleadersinc.net/.

Copyright © 2011 Freedom Leaders Marketing Group. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Parents' Play-By-Play Promotes Language Growth

When I am out and about, I like to watch parents interacting with their children. As a speech-language pathologist, I am interested in observing how parents make use of life's constant opportunities to nurture their children's language-learning.

This article is the first in a series about missed opportunities for parents to be good language mentors. I will identify what the situation was, what the parent opted to do with the occasion, and what I would suggest as a language-rich option.

While waiting through one of those "must-do," every-other-year required emissions check-ups for my car, I stood at the observation window watching the technicians using a variety of pieces of equipment, wondering what each one did. I was fascinated by the rollers that the car's tires whirled on, the car staying in place and just slipping a bit side to side.

About halfway through my experience, a young boy came bolting through the door to the observation room, head eagerly tilted up, with an expression on his face that broadcast, "Ooh, I'm in a new, interesting place!" His father was right behind him.

My first thoughts were, Great-this dad will surely show his boy what is going in with their car.

I was disappointed to see that this young dad had his boy sit on the adult chair next to his chair. This very compliant three or four-year-old sat on the chair without protest, craning his neck unsuccessfully, trying to see over the sill of the observation window. The father did not notice his son's interest in seeing what was going on, since he opted to do some browsing on his cell phone.

Within a few minutes, the dad picked up his son. I thought, Good! Now he is going to take him over to the window. But, sadly, no. He did hold him and give him about 8 rapid kisses, which showed me that he loved his boy, but, to me, the kisses did not make up for his silence during what could have been an enjoyable and productive shared verbal interaction.

We know from research that children who hear about 25,000 words per day acquire much richer language skills than children who hear far fewer quantities of words spoken to them. And, children with stronger language abilities show higher intelligence than those who do not. Guess which children do better in school.

In my view, this 15-minute encounter could have supported at least a 1,000 word investment in this child's language development. What follows is an example of what a parent who is "tuned into" what a child needs might have said. I will provide examples of what the father could have initiated, so this will sound like a monologue. Of course, in a real situation, the parent should listen to and respond to anything the child says, to further shape the verbal input to the child's interests.

Wow, son--this room has big windows. We get to see what the people do to our car! We can observe what the technicians are doing with their equipment. That man is in the driver's seat. He is making the car engine go fast. Look! Our tires are spinning-they are going around and around really fast. But our car isn't moving! Hmmm--I wonder why not? Oh! Look at those big rollers under the tires! That's why our car isn't going anywhere. But our car is slipping side-to-side. Interesting! There's an orange cord going through the open window. I wonder what it is plugged into. Oh, and there's a big funnel. It's checking if our car has clean-enough exhaust. We don't want our car to put dirty air into the air in our world. We want to breathe clean air.

And so on! Giving a running commentary of a situation is easy. It's just like the sports play-by-plays sports announcers make.

If you use a "big" word, just precede it or follow it up with simpler words that "anchor" the meaning of the new word. You will find several examples of that technique in my example.

Even if you don't think of yourself as a talkative person, stretch yourself for your child's benefit. Think of this type of talking as just being a play-by-play on the game of life. Your child will be all the better for your efforts.

Mary Lou B. Johnson, M.S., CCC-SLP, is a speech-language pathologist with over 36 years experience working with children and their families at Children's Hospital Colorado. In her eBook, How To Help Your Child Learn to Talk Better in Everyday Activities, Mary Lou provides the information, insights, and ideas that she has shared with parents in her practice to enable parents to gain new ideas and more confidence in their abilities to help their children acquire strong speech-language skills. View the Table of Contents at http://helpyourchildspeak.com/.

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Techniques for the Prevention and Management of Tantrums to Ensure They Decrease in Frequency

Prevention

Technique 1

Loving and Affirming

We need to make it our aim to give praise, love and affirmation in our management of children. We need to aim to keep an atmosphere of happiness and relaxation in the family. We help to build self-confidence by allowing choices when practicable and by praising children frequently for good behaviour.

Technique 2

We Have Clear Expectations

We have a clear system of discipline and expectations in the home, at school and in public places. We try tot be flexible in our approach to discipline as the tantrum may be a reaction against inflexibility.

Technique 3

We look after our own Needs

We ensure we nurture ourselves regularly so that we feel happy and are less likely to react to the child's tantrum.

Technique 4

We monitor the cause of the tantrum.

* Is the tantrum because the child is tired?
* Is the child hungry?
* Is it an attempt to get what thy want such as an ice cream?
* Is it to get attention from the parent?
* Is the child getting frustrated because the task is too difficult?

Being aware of the cause can help divert the tantrum.

Technique 5

Be Aware of Behaviour Changes

We need to be aware of changes in the child's behaviour that might herald a tantrum about to erupt. This may be frowning, sighing and shows of slight irritation. Responding to these may help divert the tantrum.

Management Strategies

Strategy 1

Stay Calm

* Stay Calm Regardless of how annoying the behaviour. We need to aim to be calm and peaceful.
* In our heads count slowly from 1-10.

Strategy 2

Distract

* Distract the child by showing something interesting.
* We can use Humour to distract the child.

Strategy 3

Have a System to use in Public Places

* Use a countdown system saying slowly 1, 2, and 3.
* If the behaviour continues after 3, then pick up the child and remove from the situation. This might involve if in a public place, packing up, going home and returning later.

Strategy 4

Reward

Have a reward system, reward when children behave and don't throw a tantrum in situations in which they would have had in the past.

Strategy 5

Ignore

Whenever practical ignore the tantrum. This is helpful if the child's goal in throwing a tantrum is to get attention. This is easier to do at home but not so easy in public places.

Strategy 6

Avoid

We need to avoid or minimise critical situations.
1) When the child is overtired.
2) Stressed.
3) Hungry.

Some Don'ts

1) We never give in to the tantrum by giving the child the object which initiated the tantrum. Thus we ensure there is no pay off for the temper tantrum.
2) We never reward immediately the tantrum ends as this way they will team tantrums with rewards.
3) We don't argue to try or pacify the child as this only causes the behaviour to accelerate.

Managing Persisting or severe Tantrums

Seek help from a doctor or health professional if tantrums are severe and very disruptive to family life. Severe and persisting tantrums may indicate that the child may have a language, hearing or learning disability.

In conclusion temper tantrums while annoying, frustrating and sometimes embarrassing by using these prevention and management strategies, they should gradually vanish.

About the Author Marguerite Clancy

Marguerite's passion is to help children and adults reach their potential in a more peaceful and joyful world. She is committed to early intervention and prevention. This is evident in her books, services and workshops. She is the author of Inspiring Success, Book A and Book B. Inspiring Success available from User friendly Resources,Australian Office Telephone: 1800 553 890; Fax: 1800 553 891.

Her book "Joyful Parenting" now selling cheaply from her website: http://www.parentingwithzest.net/ and "Expert's Hot Tips for the Mnagement of ADHD" now available on Amazon ASIN:BOO4INHQ8Y. Follow her on Facebook at http://facebook.com/parentsupport.

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The 7 Reasons Your Family Is Stressed Out

We often hear people saying, "Gosh, life is more difficult than when we were kids." Yes, it is very different in terms of how global the world has become and how the world feels faster-paced. This pace is what has caused parents to feel so overwhelmed by their responsibilities.

From my experience of working with families all over the world I have found that there are seven clear reasons why families are stressed today. Do any of these match your life?

Confidence in setting limits and following through consistently. Parenting can often leave moms and dads wondering when and how to discipline their children. It's this uncertainty that makes many parents frustrated and stressed when their child challenges them.
Not living according to their top values. Parents know that one of their top values is family time, however when they look at their lives they see that other things are taking over their life. Parents often feel guilty about this and that causes them to stress and worry.
Not enjoying enough quality time with their family. Today, many parents are spending an enormous amount of time driving their children to lessons, practice or birthday parties. The phrase, "Come on, we have to go!" is common. The busyness in parent's lives has left them feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
They over-schedule themselves. When every night has something "going on" you know there's going to be stress because there is little time left to relax and refuel. Between dance lessons, soccer practice, tutoring sessions and guitar lessons parents and kids have a lot going on. The goal is to enrich our children's lives however the consequence is that the classes are overwhelming our lives.
Systems are not put in place. Many families have told me they feel like life is controlling them instead of the other way around. There are so many jobs to do around the house and rooms to keep tidy and things to get accomplished, that the list can be overwhelming and daunting. Life is controlling parents instead of parents putting systems in place so they feel a sense of control over their lives.
No routine is established. With the whirlwind lives that families are leading these days, having a consistent routine that ensures their children eat, sleep and play at regular times is often thrown out the window. Kids are sleeping in strollers or the car instead of their beds nowadays and this affects the quality of their sleep. The result? Whiny kids who often throw tantrums. The consequence? Frustrated and anxious parents.
Not enough "me" time. There is a martyr mentality out there right now, especially for women, where parents think that the more they do for their children the better parents they are. So, parents are doing, doing, doing, and forgetting to schedule in time for the things that refuel THEM, make THEM happy, and give THEM energy. Who can truly feel happy and fulfilled when they are always exhausted and experiencing nothing that feeds their soul?

Does this all seem a bit bleak? Well, the good news is that all of the items listed above are changeable! We have the power to change it - isn't that great?

There are happy families, huge families of 6 children or more who live slow lives and spend quality time with one another every day. It's doable! You don't have to have a lot of money, you don't have to live in the countryside, and you don't even need to have one parent stay at home! With a few tweaks here and there, family life can be incredible. Coming home can actually recharge your battery instead of depleting it.

What is the solution? Take an honest look at your family's life and see where the stressors are. Are you running around too much? Is every day different, with little or no routine? Are you constantly losing your keys and searching frantically for them in the morning? Are your kids throwing tantrums around specific times of the day?

After you've taken a microscopic look at the way things are now for you and your family, decide which area to address first. What system or routine could you implement that would alleviate your current problem? What could you truly give up? Which lessons could you cancel? What activity do you love doing that you haven't done in years, but would love to start again?

Start with one item and feel the dramatic change, then next month work on a new area. You and your family will feel happier, lighter, and more connected with some of the stress gone. It's truly about making a choice to live a calmer life. Think about what is TRULY important to you then design your life around it; just because the outside world might be running at a frenzied pace doesn't mean you and your family have to.

Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life and The Life Balance Formula.

You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at erinparenting.com. You'll also receive Erin's free video series "8 Secrets to Stress-Free Parenting", packed with parenting tips!

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School Places

Many families will be disappointed to be told that their child will be going to a school they do not want. As many as one in six children failed to secure a place in their first choice school. In London it rises to one in three. They have the right to appeal against this decision. This is where appeals come in. Each year about 60,000 school admission appeals are heard. Only one in three [34%] are won by parents.

HINT NUMBER ONE Make copies of every communication you receive and send. Log every phone call.

What was said?Who did you speak with?What date?What time?

So who decides which child gets a place and which doesn't? The admission authority has to draw up and publish a list of admission criteria; that is, a series of priority categories. These will vary in detail depending on local circumstances and in the case of faith schools, for example, will reflect the distinctive nature of the school. Typical admission criteria will favour:

children with a brother or sister at the school;children living closest to the school;children attending a named feeder school;children who are members of the faith the school serves.

Where there are more applications for a place in the school than the school has to offer, applications are put into rank order by being matched with the school's admission criteria. Places are then offered to the highest ranking applicants.

Fears are increasing that proposed changes to the laws controlling school admissions could make it all too easy for sought after schools to make sure that it is they who choose the pupils they want, not the other way round.

HINT NUMBER TWO Find out the details of numbers on roll at the school now. Check out the number in each year group. Do your research via: o school website o school prospectus o telephone the school or visit in person Write everything down and keep copies.

You are determined to get a good education for your child. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world; sometimes it is the loneliest. When the letter arrives telling you that your child is being offered a place at a school you do not want, you may experience a lot of negative feelings: perhaps, even, that you have let your child down. But remember that appeals are won, by being organised, focused and determined.

http://www.winschoolappeal.co.uk/ has a 29 page appeals information booklet will help you find your way through the appeals maze. Including step-by-step guide, letters templates, do's and don'ts.

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Empowering Youth: Are You Really Teaching Your Child To Be A Giver?

Teaching children to be givers and leading by example is an important component to their success.

There will be no lesson learned in teaching your child to be a giver IF they don't see YOU giving too.

What are you doing that leads the way for your child to follow?

And more importantly, what attitude do you have when you give?

So let's see:

1. When was the last time your child saw you give money? Caution. If you asked for a receipt, your child may not be learning the lesson you intend to teach.

2. When was the last time your child saw you volunteer your time for a worthy cause? Be careful here. If you gained anything from what you did, even recognition, your child will likely not count that as giving.

3. The last time you saw a homeless person on the street, what did your child hear you say?

4. When someone walks up to you and asks if you can spare some change, what does your child see and hear from you?

5. What happens to your old clothes, shoes, purses, neckties, wallets, hats, gloves, etc.?

6. How much food does your family throw in the trash? Danger Zone. Do NOT force your kids to eat what they put on their plates. Do NOT tell them about the starving kids in Ethiopia. Do NOT reward or praise them for finishing everything on their plates. Do NOT say "oh you can finish that last bit of food" or "it's a shame to waste that little bit of food"

ALL of those behaviors create overweight adults and now even worse, overweight kids. Instead, teach your children to take small portions of food and go back for seconds.

7. Are you still eating out and tipping 10%?

8. When you get a gift you don't like or get no gift at all, do your children hear you murmur and complain?

9. Is your house filled with stuff? I mean, do you buy every kitchen gadget that sounds good on TV and then never use them? Do you boast to your friends about having the biggest TV and say it's so everyone can see when they come over for Monday night football?

10. Are your children watching you struggle to pay for a car and house you can't afford? Pause: a lot of people are in that situation right now as a result of losing their job. You know if you are buying stuff to impress people and paying for it with your child's inheritance.

It is very important to teach children to be givers, otherwise you cannot be surprised when they always have their hand out begging to receive.

Think about it. Taking something that you have and likely have worked hard to get and handing it over to someone else, often someone you do not know, with nothing in return or even promised, makes no sense.

So if you don't raise children to be givers and not just takers, they will surely not come up with the idea all by themselves.

There are many ways to teach children to be givers:

1. tithes and offerings at church

2. putting money in the Salvation Army bucket during the holidays

3. visiting hospitals and nursing homes

4. doing helpful things for your neighbors

5. volunteering at a soup kitchen

6. taking the clothes and toys they have out grown to the thrift store

7. adopting a street and keeping it clean

8. helping to fold chairs or cleanup or plant flowers at their school

9. reading books to younger kids at the library or in the neighborhood

10. helping people to the car with their groceries

Teaching children to be givers is not all about dollar bills. Giving of time with nothing in return will instill the same lesson because what you are actually teaching them is to think about someone other than themselves.

So, what example are you setting that will teach your child to be a giver?

Remember, everything you do and say teaches. Be sure it's the lesson you want to pass the generations to come.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE Instant Access to a 10-day e-course entitled "Ten Actions YOU MUST Take For Your Child To Succeed" when you visit http://empoweringyouthforsuccess.com/

You'll also receive free VIP seating at our cutting edge monthly teleseminar.

From Linette Daniels- "The Youth Success Doctor"

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Infertility and Adoption Support Groups: The Top 5 Benefits

Research has documented a group's counseling power in helping people with many types of issues. The top 5 benefits of groups include helping you to:

Overcome isolation - Groups provide emotional connections when people feel isolated from friends and family in relation to their issues. Participants enjoy communicating with like-minded people.
Build resilience, which is defined as the capacity to adapt to difficulties; and to try new opportunities for personal growth and change. According to the American Psychological Association "Nothing helps more with adversity and stress than to feel the support and understanding of other people. Creating connections is the number one way to build resilience."
Learn something new, perhaps a new resource or a coping tip.
Feel validated which enhances self-esteem - Discussing issues and being understood and supported provides group members with a greater sense of perspective and control.
Feel better - These benefits usually result in mood improvement and the decrease of emotional distress.
The most important time to join a group is in the first few months of a new situation, when the reality begins to set in. This is a time when you may be keeping everything confidential and/or feeling more sensitive to other people's reactions or comments, or especially anxious about your situation. Find a group that is right for you, where you feel comfortable.

The basic types of counseling groups and their benefits are outlined below.

Benefits of Infertility Groups:

"For me, group is the only place I can share a laugh about our difficulties." K.A., infertility patient

While we find that many infertility patients are inconsistent group members or prefer the privacy of individual counseling, those that do attend groups enjoy the connections with others going through similar experiences.
Provides freedom to express negative emotions and prevents feelings of overburdening loved ones
Develop or regain effective coping skills
Couples having difficulty communicating about their infertility problems may benefit by talking to other couples
Enhanced self-esteem - discussing issues with others provides the members with a greater sense of perspective
One study suggested increased rates of conception for women who participated in support groups vs. those who did not (54% vs. 22%).

Benefits of Pre-Adoptive Parent Groups:

"We were stuck and unable to complete the paperwork for our adoption until one night at group when we realized it was our grief about our losses that was holding us back." J.S., adoptive parent and Former Pre-Adopt Group Member

"When I began to attend the pre-adopt group I was still feeling very alone and depressed. It was relieving immediately to be with like-minded people. Once we made the decision to adopt it made it real for me. The group made a difficult journey hopeful, healing. During the 9 months it took to complete the adoption, I was pregnant intellectually and emotionally. Now I wake up in the morning and look at my son. It feels like we were meant 3 for each other. I am elated by motherhood, closer to being whole." S.G., adoptive parent and Former Pre-Adopt Group Member

Many who are waiting to adopt come to the groups looking for education as a supplement to their home studies. In addition, they report feeling more open about their emotions and able to relax in the neutral setting of a Counseling Center.
Members can voice their experiences about the positives (excitement, family growth) and the negatives (frustrating delays, fears of a complicated transitions or relationships, concerns about their referrals or matches).
Groups give pre-adoptive parents a place to be expectant parents and to focus on preparation for parenting.
Learn skills to help in the transition to parenthood; to communicate effectively with birth parents; and/or to transition children home from orphanages or foster care.
Many of our pre-adopt group members form their own Parent/Baby groups after they have adopted.

Benefits of Groups for Adoptive Parents:

"I don't usually think a lot about adoption so I really appreciate that my adoptive parents group gives me a time and place to do that." K.M. adoptive parent

"Other parents think they understand but they have no idea of some of the issues my child has or how I feel." P.B. adoptive parent

Camaraderie is the most often-cited benefit of adoptive parent groups - parents can share their experiences of raising children whose ethnicities, special needs or personal histories are adoption related.
An opportunity to distinguish adoption-related behaviors from general developmental behaviors and personality factors in understanding and planning for their children's needs.
Education and support on adoption life cycle tasks and dealing with schools and social issues; and often on general parenting concerns as well.
A chance to learn parenting strategies uniquely designed for children who have had foster and/or orphanage care where applicable
A chance to discuss open adoption issues where applicable
Sharing of information and resources

Benefits of Groups for Adopted Kids:

Children's Groups are designed to encourage the exploration and sharing of the adoption experience within a fun and structured environment.
Adopted children find that peer groups provide a comfortable place to identify, and that increases self esteem.
They have a chance to articulate their own concerns and to get feedback from peers which they really appreciate.
They can explore adoption without the fear of hurting anyone's feelings, saying something inappropriate, being considered different, or feeling disloyal to their parents.
Children learn that it's ok to talk about adoption, that their feelings and thoughts are normal and that it's ok to bring up adoption issues with their parents.

Benefits of Groups for Adopted Teens:

"Sometimes we don't even talk about adoption but it makes me feel really good to know other kids who were adopted. I know I can talk to them about adoption if I want to." L.N., age 16

As teens face many big life changes in these years, the possibility of adoption related issues surfacing increases dramatically and group support is an effective way to deal with these issues.
Adopted teens find that peer groups provide a comfortable place to identify and that increases self esteem.
Teens appreciate the opportunity for validation, sharing and exploring their experiences and feelings with other like-minded teens.
Teens can also address other self-esteem, identity and social issues related to adolescence.

Frequently Asked Questions about Groups

What Is The Purpose of A Group? People within a group, discuss their issues with each other and provide supportive communication and resources for dealing with their infertility and/or adoption related concerns.

How would I Benefit From A Group? A group can lift your spirits if you are down, or feeling isolated; teach you something new about coping or strategizing to deal with an issue; or simply be a good source camaraderie and comfort.

What Occurs at A Group Meeting? Each group is different, but generally group members discuss their feelings, experiences and opinions; and give support, encouragement or advice to each other. The counselor offers insights and education about the topics at hand or presents topics requested by the group members, and monitors group interaction so that everyone is comfortable. Participants can benefit from both the members' and the counselor's input. Child groups are more likely to include an activity that brings the issues out in a fun and child-friendly way. Through crafts and group activities, youth are encouraged to normalize and celebrate their experience as an adoptee.

What if I am uncomfortable in groups, is there any reason to try one? Start by attending some group meetings and just listening in. At first, you may feel uncomfortable. Don't worry, many people feel uncomfortable at first. Give yourself a chance to settle in. Slowly, your comfort level will probably increase and you will begin connect with some of the people in the group. If not, it is absolutely fine to continue participating as a listener.

And if your spouse wants to join and you are uncomfortable in groups, it is perfectly fine to be there just to support him or her. Later, the two of you can discuss your reactions in private.

How do I handle it if my child or teen is anxious about joining a group, but I feel it would be helpful to them? If you think this would be a great idea but are worried you child or teen won't want to participate, please feel free to call for ideas on how to introduce this group to your child or teen.

Joni S. Mantell, LCSW, CSW, Director of IAC Center is a Psychotherapist and a recognized authority on the psychological and social aspects of infertility and adoption. She has a Masters in Social Work from The University of Pennsylvania and completed a 4-year Certification Program in Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy at the Post-Graduate Center for Mental Health in NYC. She is particularly known for her expertise in helping people to transition from infertility to adoption; and for her capacities to integrate and to differentiate adoption, child development and other psychological issues in her understanding of each individual and family situation.

She founded the IAC Center in 2002 because she felt that people needed a place to have a safe and professionally guided discussions about infertility and adoption at multiple points in the life cycle. The IAC Center offers counseling, support groups and psych-educational workshops for families and for professionals. The IAC Center has coordinated Support Groups for: Infertility, Pre-Adoptive Parents, Adoptive Parents, Adopted Children and Teens, and Professional Support. Please visit our website for more information and resources http://iaccenter.com/ or call 609-737-8750

Joni Mantell, LCSW is also a frequent writer, consultant, trainer and speaker; and enjoys doing original research on infertility and adoption topics. The unique combination of her psychological training, extensive clinical work with infertility patients and all members of the adoption triad; academic and research based experiences gives her particular insight into the mindset of people whose lives are touched by infertility and adoption.

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