Prevention
Technique 1
Loving and Affirming
We need to make it our aim to give praise, love and affirmation in our management of children. We need to aim to keep an atmosphere of happiness and relaxation in the family. We help to build self-confidence by allowing choices when practicable and by praising children frequently for good behaviour.
Technique 2
We Have Clear Expectations
We have a clear system of discipline and expectations in the home, at school and in public places. We try tot be flexible in our approach to discipline as the tantrum may be a reaction against inflexibility.
Technique 3
We look after our own Needs
We ensure we nurture ourselves regularly so that we feel happy and are less likely to react to the child's tantrum.
Technique 4
We monitor the cause of the tantrum.
* Is the tantrum because the child is tired?
* Is the child hungry?
* Is it an attempt to get what thy want such as an ice cream?
* Is it to get attention from the parent?
* Is the child getting frustrated because the task is too difficult?
Being aware of the cause can help divert the tantrum.
Technique 5
Be Aware of Behaviour Changes
We need to be aware of changes in the child's behaviour that might herald a tantrum about to erupt. This may be frowning, sighing and shows of slight irritation. Responding to these may help divert the tantrum.
Management Strategies
Strategy 1
Stay Calm
* Stay Calm Regardless of how annoying the behaviour. We need to aim to be calm and peaceful.
* In our heads count slowly from 1-10.
Strategy 2
Distract
* Distract the child by showing something interesting.
* We can use Humour to distract the child.
Strategy 3
Have a System to use in Public Places
* Use a countdown system saying slowly 1, 2, and 3.
* If the behaviour continues after 3, then pick up the child and remove from the situation. This might involve if in a public place, packing up, going home and returning later.
Strategy 4
Reward
Have a reward system, reward when children behave and don't throw a tantrum in situations in which they would have had in the past.
Strategy 5
Ignore
Whenever practical ignore the tantrum. This is helpful if the child's goal in throwing a tantrum is to get attention. This is easier to do at home but not so easy in public places.
Strategy 6
Avoid
We need to avoid or minimise critical situations.
1) When the child is overtired.
2) Stressed.
3) Hungry.
Some Don'ts
1) We never give in to the tantrum by giving the child the object which initiated the tantrum. Thus we ensure there is no pay off for the temper tantrum.
2) We never reward immediately the tantrum ends as this way they will team tantrums with rewards.
3) We don't argue to try or pacify the child as this only causes the behaviour to accelerate.
Managing Persisting or severe Tantrums
Seek help from a doctor or health professional if tantrums are severe and very disruptive to family life. Severe and persisting tantrums may indicate that the child may have a language, hearing or learning disability.
In conclusion temper tantrums while annoying, frustrating and sometimes embarrassing by using these prevention and management strategies, they should gradually vanish.
About the Author Marguerite Clancy
Marguerite's passion is to help children and adults reach their potential in a more peaceful and joyful world. She is committed to early intervention and prevention. This is evident in her books, services and workshops. She is the author of Inspiring Success, Book A and Book B. Inspiring Success available from User friendly Resources,Australian Office Telephone: 1800 553 890; Fax: 1800 553 891.
Her book "Joyful Parenting" now selling cheaply from her website: http://www.parentingwithzest.net/ and "Expert's Hot Tips for the Mnagement of ADHD" now available on Amazon ASIN:BOO4INHQ8Y. Follow her on Facebook at http://facebook.com/parentsupport.
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