Helping The Anxious Child

Anxiety in Children

All children experience anxiety; it's normal and expected - particularly at specific developmental times. From the age of 8-9 months of age for example, a baby may begin to show worry and distress at being separated from a parent or known carer and this may continue through the pre-school years. Worries about particular events or objects may also become prominent for some children as they grow older - a fear of spiders, the dark, animals, strangers or thunder and lightening - and this may continue into the primary school years.

As with any behaviour however, it is the:

· frequency
· intensity
· level of distress
· duration
· disruption that it causes to the child's (and family's) life

that determines whether a parent should seek help.

Many children will develop ways of coping with situations that previously caused them fear - even in the absence of the parent coaching or reassuring them; they literally seem to 'grow out of it'. Others, however - who may be genetically and temperamentally 'hot wired' for greater reactivity and anxiety - continue to show high levels of fear with few coping strategies, despite maturing.

Some symptoms of anxiety include:

Refusing to go to schoolFrequently 'fussing' about going to school; delaying, complainingComplaints of pain - frequently stomach aches or 'feeling sick'Constant thoughts about parents or carers being injured or becoming illTantrums or panic when parents leave the childAvoidance of social situations - visiting other children's homes without a parent; answering the telephoneFretting about events before they happenConcern about or refusal to participate in any new activitiesExtreme fear about a specific thing or situation - needles, insectsRefusing to talk to those outside the familyTrouble sleeping or nightmares

It is important not to assume that a child will 'grow out of' their anxieties - particularly if they are showing signs of those behaviours listed above. Anxiety behaviours can become habitual and entrenched responses, and a plan is required to interrupt the avoidance pattern that is so often a feature, together with coaching the child in coping strategies.

Something that parents often find confusing in dealing with their anxious child is the contrast between the child's general reserve and timidity, but when faced with dealing with their fear - usually at home - the child displays a tenacity and ability to be a 'refusing tyrant' - that leads parents to believe that the child is in some way faking their initial distress. However, this is very common, particularly when the fear responses have become habitual - for example in refusing to attend school - and it is why seeking professional help through a mental health clinician is recommended.

Children can be taught to recognize, monitor and manage anxiety, but it is best done in partnership between the parent, family and a mental health professional. If your child is showing behaviours that appear anxiety driven and if they are causing disruption to the family or interfering with normal, everyday activities, talk to your family doctor and ask for a referral to a mental health practitioner experienced in dealing with children. Medication is rarely indicated for children - rather the challenging of responses in a gentle and graduated way, together with helping parents to also adjust their own responses to the child's distress - an important part of breaking the 'anxiety cycle'.

Anxiety disorders - left untreated - do cause limitation of a child's life and suffering. But they are treatable, so don't delay in seeking further assessment if you have concerns.

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