As we take on our "Parent Challenge" to focus on strengthening the bonds of our family, we will begin the P-A-R-E-N-T-ing series with "Perceive". Webster's defines "perceive" as: to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses, to recognize, discern, or understand.
The purpose of perception is to understand. I often tell my kids they are not really listening to me until they are listening with a purpose of understanding what is said. This is true for all of us. In order to become aware of, recognize, or discern with any understanding we must exert a cognitive effort. This requirement sometimes presents a challenge to most of us right?
James A Baldwin stated, "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." There is a powerful video on YouTube called Children See, Children Do I recommend every parent watch it.
It is important that as parents we know and practice good listening skills. This is especially important because parents are kids' number one role model. Kids imitate everything we do and say. If parents are to teach children good listening skills which result in understanding, parents must practice good listening skills. As a precursor to listening to your kids it is necessary to first perceive, be aware of changes, and recognize when something is going on in their lives. In today's world life move's so fast parents sometimes become taken over with daily pressures and forget to live in the present moments. Therefore failing to recognize those moments when kids really need mom and dad to "perceive".
Then there are those times when mom and dad are aware of something going on but are just too tired to "deal" with it. I've been there. I used to work as a Store Director for the highest volume convenience store in our area. I worked between 70 to 100 or more hours a week. During those two and half years I did not see my twins very much. We stopped eating dinner together and spending any quality time together. I had no idea what was going on in their lives let alone what was on their hearts' or the challenges they faced. Unfortunately this was during one of the most crucial times in their lives, the start of high school!
Both of my girls were going through difficult transitions and the pace of high school was too much for them to absorb. One of my girls was bullied on a regular basis and her sister was overwhelmed so much by the curriculum she began to shut down. Before high school and before my enslavement as a convenience store director I was home every evening with my girls and took the time to know what was going on with them. As well as teach and encourage them on a daily basis which gave them the confidence to overcome their challenges, however this changed.
Most nights upon coming home I had about 30 minutes before I would need to be in bed in order to get enough sleep to be up by 3:30 a.m. I would come home and the house was trashed! The girls had let their friends in the house while I was working and stuff would come up missing. There were dirty dishes all over the kitchen, the trash was overflowing, the dog had not been fed or let out, their shoes and dirty socks were laying all over the living room as well as empty cups and dirty dishes. Their rooms were a disaster as well, while they both lazily sat on the couch on watched television.
I would be so outraged because they knew better. We didn't live like this nor did they break mom's rules. We always did our chores every night after supper! I would lash out at them(which by the way didn't do any good) and I could tell by the backlash(which was completely out of character) of my girls that something was going on in their lives, but I was just too tired to take the time to be a parent! Because of this, things only got worse and the backlashing turned into outright rebellion, dangerous and costly rebellion! I
If you find yourself in these circumstances, driving in the fast lane, not living in the present, life passing you by or you are just too tired to be mom or dad.....make some changes fast! Your kids need you and you only get one chance! They need you at home every night to love, support, teach, and encourage them. They need you to perceive when something is going on in their life and take the time to understand how they are affected by it. Then you can do what you do best! P-a-r-e-n-t!
Jennifer C Vogel, CEO of Freedom Leaders Marketing Group, invites you to sign up for a free parenting webinar workshop by visiting our website at http://www.freedomleadersinc.net/. You will also receive free parenting reports as well as free resources to help make your job as a parent easier. Sign up today at http://www.freedomleadersinc.net/.
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